Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me

An Open Letter to DOT Secretary Mon Jimenez

2012-01-07T02:18:00.001+08:00

Firstoff, I would like to congratulate you and your team for the wonderfully thoughtout slogans meant to enhance our country’s branding. I believe you have an armyof geniuses who truly understand our essence as a people and what we can offerto the world.

Secondly,I would like to make it clear that this open letter is not meant to pre-emptany of your roll out plans. I am just bursting with ideas and couldn’t help butfeel involved in this initiative.

Overthe past years I have grown jaded and apathetic over what’s happening in ourcountry, which is such a shame considering the fact that I was an Iskolar ng Bayan (scholar of the nation).However, this campaign you’re spearheading has enflamed my dying spirit, if Iwere to become melodramatic about it.

Apologiesfor that digression and back to the original purpose why I decided to writethis open letter - I’d like to throw some ideas that could form part of yourrollout strategy, just in case they’re not yet included in your design.

Isuggest you solicit the support of some of the famous bloggers we have in ourcountry. I don’t have the statistics to back this claim up but I believe thesereal people are the ones who are able to connect to a larger segment of yourtarget market. I believe that these bloggerscould be commissioned (pro bono, hopefully) to give insider information onseveral clusters of activities that are simply more fun to do here in thePhilippines!

Forinstance, you could assemble a platoon of food bloggers to write about the bestplaces to sample famous Filipino dishes. They could also write about the bestfusion and international restaurants that would highlight how ‘safe’ we are asa travel destination, even for those who are not so adventurous when it comesto food. These bloggers could providehelpful tips on how one can navigate through the streets of Manila andexperience the best food that we can offer.

Itwould also be very helpful to assemble bloggers who could give all kinds oftraveler a low down on the best places to visit, and where to stay, dependingon their budget. Travel blogs haveproven to be very helpful whenever I am able to save up enough money to travel.I get to read about these unbiased and un-commissioned write-ups on places andI have never missed a mark, so far.

Thereare a handful of credible bloggers in the area of fashion and beauty who couldfeature our great shopping areas and in boosting medical tourism,respectively. You could also get bloggersto give tips on the exchange, taxi, jeepney and other rates one could possiblythink of. I can go on and on but I am quite positive you’ve already gotten thedrift.

Itwould also be very helpful to have as many organized tours as possible. I went to Vietnam last year and was amazed byhow organized and affordable the tours were! I was actually shocked by the factthat there were so many foreigners inside the bus, and some of them didn’t evenspeak English! However, the tours were so organized, the language did notbecome a barrier at all!

Ofcourse I hear those who say we have to clean our act up, fix our infrastructureand other support systems that will enable a smoother rollout of this campaign. I believe there’s a need as well to find waysto make traveling to the Philippines a lot cheaper. I found out from an Australian friend thatgoing to Bali is around four times cheaper! Of course the distance could have aplayed a significant factor on the cost difference but the point is, from acommon traveler’s perspective - since they see Asia as just one big chunk ofland – Bali seems to offer more value for their money. And friends and family who have visited Baliattest to the fact that our beaches are a lot better. Given that, I know youcan see that there’s just way too much wasted potential.

Surewe do have a lot of problems like corruption and a myriad of other things.Others could argue that the influx of foreigners could be a gateway to anastier flesh trade. These are all beside the point and must be addressedseparately. However, we also have a LOTto offer. For instance, a lot of us can communicate in English, and most do notdiscriminate foreigners. In fact, I observed that Filipinos adore foreignerslike crazy!

Ifirmly believe that this campaign could be the best way to get all of usworking towards a common goal while strengthening our national identity. This could also crumble down our strong senseof regionalism, which in my opinion is a little divisive – quite possibly be afunction of geography and must be taken up in a separate forum.

Thisis a good start to rally every Juan to be 1 for fun and help our country becomethe #1 tourist destination in Asia. I amhopeful that this could be THE initiative that will finally put to good use ouruncanny (and sometimes misplaced) resilience and our ability to find humor inalmost everything.

I amnot sure if you’ve reached this part of my letter but if you did, thank you. Toanyone who gets to read this, I beg your indulgence. You may disagree with someof my points but before you start hating, a food for thought: where else couldyou find people smiling for the camera while crossing a raging flood? Forgive me as I take dibs to use the variousslogans but truly, it is amazingly and incredibly more fun in this side of thistruly Asian nation (and we’re kindof the oldest one, right?).

MayGod bless your initiative, Sir.

Sincerelyyours,

JohnCalica

32nd Birthday

2012-01-05T17:14:00.005+08:00

Celebrated my 32nd birthday serving at the beautiful wedding of two friends from the community. It felt mature to do that. I hope I'd be able to do more for others this year :)

Happy New Year

2012-01-05T17:09:00.004+08:00

In a world where everyone competes for 15 seconds (15 minutes have become way too long) of fame, we are all pressured to stand out in any crowd, make a dent on the public consciousness (or at the very least in our respective spheres of influence) or at the very least, get as many likes as possible on our Facebook wall.

What does it take to stand out? To make a difference? How do we hit that spot that will pave the way for that ultimate crossover from being virtual nobodies to being the talk of the town (or the toast of the cyberworld?)

If you ask me, I’d say there’s nothing wrong with wanting to stand out, as long as you’re fighting for your individuality; absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make a difference especially when the act is clearly directed towards benefitting others; absolutely not evil to desire fame, as long as you want it so bad so you could positively influence the world.

It all boils down to one’s motivation. It’s time to talk to the man in the mirror.

Happy New Year, and may you strive to make every second of 2012 count.

The Dynamic View is WICKED!!!

2011-11-28T10:56:00.001+08:00

It's soooo awesome, I want to cry (OA). Hehehe. But seriously, it's so great. Blogger just did what Friendster failed to do. I believe the churn rate of people switching to tumblr got really high but blogger definitely one upped tumblr with this new innovation. Different views for different folks! :)

And this is one of the reasons why I should start writing again...

2011-11-22T16:55:00.004+08:00

I was checking my e-mail, hoping to get some good news from someone when I saw this notification from blogger. An extremely kind, and very insightful reader posted a comment on my blog. She stumbled upon one of my most personal entries and left some really encouraging words. Read on:

Forgive me in advance, for this comment of mine exceeds the mundane perception of “uber-long.”)

I stumbled upon your beyond-excellent, cathartic post as I was slowly killing time on my own accord.

I comprehend scattered bits and facets of where you are coming from, although I wouldn't make the common mistake of saying, "I understand how you feel." I wouldn’t dare try to figure your situation out, let alone figure your person out. We may think we "understand how [one feels]" but the truth is we make sense of things and perceive the multiverse in our own differing ways given our own differently wired brains. Points of convergence are not impossible, but more often than not, it is very rare to find that exact person who’s mired in the precisely similar state of being.

What is MY PURPOSE FOR WRITING A COMMENT ON YOUR POST, THEN, EH? Well, the shortcut is this: THANK YOU! Finally, someone else who, although altogether different, still made me feel a sense of hope.

I, myself, have been wanting to construct an Open Letter to that one person I still cannot shake off from the fringes of both my conscious brain and unconscious brain. That person who is analogous to “The One That Got Away” (not in a Katy Perry way, though). That one I have tried to “move on” from (albeit I was never a hundred-percent believer of the elusive entity called ‘moving on’, which, some have said, is ‘a process’ or even ‘an art’) but alas, just can’t seem to put behind me. The ultimate tragicomedy in my case is that NO, I have never had a boyfriend. Yes, I’ve been trying to “let go” of a guy who wasn’t even someone I could officially call ‘an EX-’. But THANK YOU. Thank you for people like you.

Excuse me as I surf the net for some writing classes.

Sensational Saigon (because I am bad with blog titles that way)

2011-04-27T17:56:00.005+08:00

The thing I like the most about travelling outside the Phl is the opportunity to further tear down the walls inside my head, the ones that hinder me from being more tolerant of other people’s differences and quirks. Or not, especially if the things you discover are nightmarish, like racism, or gross social injustice. Profundities aside, what I find so awesome about traveling is that exhilarating feeling of going away, adding on some unique experiences in your treasure trove of memories.

Which is why when the opportunity to visit Saigon presented itself, I immediately grabbed it, and I am still reeling off from the experience. Saigon, at least in my book, may be described using three words: progressive, traditional and simply AWESOME (okay, four words, not counting the and)!

Saigon is bursting with character – because despite the effects of globalization on the cultural landscape – the city and its people stand as testaments to the traditions that endure. If I were to pick a metaphor to describe Saigon, I’d choose one of their favorite drinks Ca Phe Sua Da (iced coffee with milk). An interesting blend of the East and West, Saigon carries with it a badge of bitterness from the past (the war) and the present (communism, which means Facebook is banned, but Twitter isn’t) and a sweet hope for a progressive future ahead.

Now I won’t be writing anything here that you can already find in Wikipedia or your Lonely Planet. What I’d like to share with you are some of the things I discovered on my own.

Food Trip

Food in Saigon, ranging from the ones you can buy from the street stalls to the ones served in nicer restaurants are all awesome. Heck even the Saigon version of Jollibee spaghetti and yum burger taste better!

What I noticed was that the price points in the nice-looking versus the carinderia-looking restaurants were almost the same. Hence, don’t be intimidated by the nice structures. The best dinner I had was at this really nice restaurant called Nha Hang Ngon (160 Pasteur, P. Ben Nghe, Quan 1) and it was cheap! Their version of the famous Pinoy dessert called halu-halo was a top/iron-chef-acting inducing moment and the entire line up of food we got was superb!

Pho at Pho 24 is good, but according to a friend of mine who got to try Pho 2000, it is much much better! The greens they serve with their Phos are just, I dunno, AWESOME? Lol

They also have local ice cream brands but Fanny (www.fanny.com.vn) serves up a really mean rhum and raisin flavored ice cream! Up until now, I do not understand why we don’t have rhum and raisin ice cream here in the Phl!

Outside Ben Thanh Market after 7 pm, stalls that serve authentic Vietnamese food are put up! Their snails, grilled fish, chicken dish, basically everything was AWESOME!

Their beers are okay. Both the red and green Saigons are good enough. But then again, San Miguel Beer is still ZE BEST! He he he

They also have killer Banh Mi sandwiches. I was told that the ones sold on the streets are quite yummy but my tummy is quite sensitive so I didn’t wanna seduce LBM to join me during my trip so instead, I got my Banh Mi fix from Onore, whose staff members adore me like anything (when they all lined up outside the restaurant to say goodbye to me as I exited the door, I wanted to move to Saigon with the hope of topping the most eligible bachelors list. Lol). But seriously, the Banh Mi and Ca Phe Sua Da in Onore are quite good!

Baguettes are sold on the streets and there’s an international bake shop chain called Tous Les Jours that serves breads made from bread heaven. Just like most Filipinos and most guys, I love my rice (especially after the summer season) but breads in Saigon are made with magic flour and are kneaded using wood from Mt. Olympus, I can eat them all day (but prolly with some Pho on the side).

Highlands Coffee serve decent brewed coffee and frappes (don’t go around looking for the mermaid logo, there are no Starbucks in Saigon – unless we missed it) but more than the coffee, the experience of drinking coffee, while facing the road is quite a good one, I must say. Basta, it’s different.

Anthony Bourdain considers Vietnam his second home so do check out his blog for more expert opinion on the food. But then again discovering things on your own is almost always, equally, if not more fun. I is just saying, be your own Bourdain.

Going Around The City

The Wikipedia entry somehow suggests that Mai Linh taxis are more dependable but throughout my four-day stay, I was always riding a Vina Sun taxi. It’s quite easy to get a cab and if you’re a group of three or four, I’d say it’s the best way to go around town. Heck you can even do the City Tour by transferring from one cab to another. Now if you’re a group of six or more, I suggest you go on a tour, which is quite cheap, especially if you pay in USD. They usually offer a higher exchange rate in Sinh Tourist, the agency we tapped for our Mekong River and Cu Chi Tunnel Tours!

Tours and Lodging

As mentioned, The Sinh Tourist offers superior tour services. While there are some underwhelming side trips embedded in their tour packages, I’d still say you go to the Mekong River Tour (and drink Snake Wine) and the Cu Chi Tunnel Tour (and fire an M-16, or a machine gun!).

If you’re interested to take these tours, I suggest you book a room in one of the nearby hotels. Anan2 was our original choice but we ended up staying in a different hotel, whose front desk personnel doesn’t speak English, so it was a little difficult to transact with him.

Speaking of English-speaking, a lot of the people who work in the restaurants along that backpacker street (you can just Google this one up) speak very good English so you don’t have to worry about death by starvation.

Going back to the tours, it was great to hear mass at the Notre Dame Cathedral, the choir sounded heavenly when we attended the 11:30 am Sunday service. And then, the old Post Office near the cathedral could be a venue for your new Facebook profile picture photo shoot. He he he. The War Remnants Museum had the shock factor, the Reunification Palace was a little underwhelming, the Cao Dai Temple is big, and the Saigon Opera House was closed. If you like pocket parks, they have a lot of nice ones over there.

Overall, touring Vietnam was such a rich, cultural experience. And I am Asian.

Shopping

If you want to buy clothes, go to Lucky Plaza (69 Dong Khoi, Ho Chi Minh City). There’s a nice lady with a stall that sells overruns from Zara Man. Buy a lot (and by a lot, I don’t mean dozens because I only bought six button down shirts and one pair of linen pants and got a significant discount off the quoted price).

There are several stalls that sell American and European brands. I was able to get four pairs of walking shorts at low low low prices, considering that shopping here in the Phl is quite a treat already. Most of the stall keepers, when asked if an item is original or not, would point out which is which.

Of course, my ex girlfriends and girl friends taught me one important skill: haggling. The key is to haggle and haggle some more. Use your charms. Most of them already know that if you’re Filipino, you’d be making tawad like anything. Yes, some of them already know the word, especially the ones in Saigon Square 1 (no need for an address here since the cabbies know where it’s at quite well), where you can buy original North Face backpacks, Levi’s Jeans, and shoes from Clarks, Tommy Hilfiger and Tiger Onitsuka and tons of other items.

I was also able to buy underwear from a Calvin Klein outlet shop somewhere within the city center and a Bonia jacket and a pair of shorts from MEXX in one of the plusher malls downtown. The key is to find the places that have items on sale because there was a lot of stuff at half, or even 70% off the original price when I went there.

If you’re a coffee addict, you can get freshly-ground beans from Ben Thanh Market. But if you want to buy Saigon shirts, try to get it from the street vendors since the ones in Ben Thanh are priced for tourists. If you’re a good-looking guy just like me (ehem ehem) try to avoid the cute looking ladies who would use their charms to get you to buy stuff you don’t really want, or need. Trust me, they can easily get your Dong out of your pants (no pun intended).

Ending

And so I end this entry with an invitation. Visit Saigon if you want a different experience, and if you want to appreciate the value of your php.

Next To Normal

2011-03-28T18:58:00.000+08:00

I don’t need a life that’s normal
That’s way too far away
But something next to normal
Would be okay
Yeah, something next to normal
That’s the thing I’d like to try
Close enough to normal
To get by

Reflection On Perfection After Watching A Perfectly Twisted Movie

2011-02-25T16:26:00.001+08:00

The problem with perfection, at least with the way the world defines it, is that it requires validation from various sources. Most often than not, when factors such as exposure, aspiration, personal standards, and a million other what have yous come into play, what’s perfect for one person may be normal or even repugnant for another, and so the story goes.

Even the dictionaries couldn’t agree on one definition for perfection – is it merely a state of superiority? An inherent characteristic possessed by a critic? Do the words complete and flawless capture its essence? Indeed, even a long held philosophical concept didn’t exactly provide a definition but a mere context, which goes:

A powerful but difficult tradition in philosophy and theology associates reality, perfection, absence of change or eternity, and self-sufficiency. A perfect being would be that which is most real; there is a departure from perfection if anything that could be real is not. Hence a perfect being has no potential that is unrealized, and undergoes no change. Evil is downgraded to mere defect, or absence or lack of something positive: criminality is the failure of some genuine potentiality to be actual, and all such actualization is good.

In the movie the Black Swan, the duality that exists within each one of us was presented in a gritty and riveting manner. In focus is a young ballerina obsessed with perfection. Her whole life is consumed by her art, and when she finally landed a career defining, or should I say ‘perfect’ role, she loses everything.

This movie is more than anything, a showcase of Natalie Portman’s amazing talent. Of course it didn’t hurt that the director made the world of ballet look ‘dark’ enough to be accessible for commoners like myself. If you’re looking for a total braineff of a movie, this is ze one for you!

I was pretty much disturbed by the movie because as a Psychology major, I have a pretty good appreciation of how one gets a bad case of the bonkers and quite honestly, I know a threaded through the path a little too closely at several points in my life.

To say that it disturbed me a lot would be an overstatement that came from being overwhelmed by the awesomeness of all the critical components of the movie. But I would say it got me into thinking how I managed to negotiate myself out of psychosis one time too many.

It just dawned on me that I was able to survive because I was never afraid to admit my weaknesses, and that I was able to establish a relationship with a perfect being who’s on call 24/7 to listen, provide comfort and give me courage to face the challenges head on!

Having been in the renewal for quite some time, I have come to associate the concept of perfection with God’s love for us. I wouldn’t elaborate on it but you can read The Bible and discover His perfect ways – which, again, is something that may be hard to grasp at times especially if mixed with less than ideal circumstances.

In my case, it worked to my advantage that I believed that someone out there gave his life to save us. If that’s not a manifestation of perfection, then nothing is.

Have a blessed weekend. And remember, God loves us all, PERFECTLY!

Start Afresh!

2011-01-01T12:30:00.003+08:00

12.31.10

11:47

In a few minutes we shall welcome a New Year. One by one, fireworks are coloring the skies with bright aspirations and a hope for a much better earth time ahead.

11:52

A cockroach suddenly crawls under my computer table. Unfortunately for the insect, my upchucked reflex dictated that he didn’t cross over to 2011 (I am starting to think that I am beginning to flash – sorry, Chuck speak right there).

11:55

For the past three years, I've had migraine attacks on New Year’s Eve. I attribute it to stress brought about by my neurosis – since I get freakishly afraid of stray bullets, or kuwitis. This is not really neurotic if we were to consider the fact that the Philippines got cited alongside that ghetto part in LA as one of the most dangerous places to welcome the New Year in, due to a lot of deaths from inconsiderate firing of 45s.

1.1.11

12:06

Just like the previous years, I spent it at our house’s second floor balcony, together with my sisters, mom and nieces and nephews and together, we marvel at how people waste their money (by now you must have guessed that I am not a fan of spending for fireworks or firecrackers.) We were supposed to drink champagne and have Melba toast with various dips but everyone got really lazy to prepare (plus we’re still very full from our relatively late dinner.) Instead, for the fun factor, we focused our attention on which among the various colored candles that my sister lit would melt the fastest. According to the leaflet, the colors represent stuff like money, love, career, etcetera and whichever ends up the shortest after 30 minutes means luck in that specific life area. My sister wanted the pink one (the luuuurve candle) to burn like hell but it ended up like at fourth place or something – there were seven candles by the way. Oh well, at least the peace and money candles topped the race. Yipee!

I actually got an invite to upscale my brand of New Year revelry over at this spankin’ new club in Resorts World called Opus but I couldn’t because I decided to leave my car at our condo in Taguig and my older brother’s spare car is parked in God-knows-where so I could only go if I’d suddenly learn how to do teleportation.

Crazy thought: Next year, I will celebrate my 32nd birthday and welcome the New Year at Times Square. The mere thought excites me like mad!

12:24

I suddenly remembered how disappointed I was yeaterday afternoon because I realized that we do not have decent original Pinoy music lately. On my way back from my annual pilgrimage to Manaoag, I decided to ride a jeepney to maximize the rural experience, or not, since Rihanna was screaming how she loved the way Eminem lied at every single corner of the Mangaldan Public Market. I was thinking, if we were to have a national identity, we need to have a flavor that’s distinctly ours. Until that time comes we cannot get mad when they name some biscuit Filipino eh? I am thinking of doing something about this and may the good Lord help me.

1.1.11. Hmmmm, it’s as if God is telling us that we’re all off to a very good start!

Let’s all make 2011 our best year ever!

Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Sang To Me

2010-12-30T15:32:00.007+08:00

If you were born on the day between Christmas and New Year, you would grow up thinking that your birthday deserved no special attention. Now that I think about it, I figured that only a truly narcissistic and delusional fool would think that one’s coming to the world could possibly rival that of Jesus’ or the anticipation of a New Year right?

Hence, if your friends would surprise you with a well-planned, intimate and themed party, it could only be interpreted as a deep expression of love. And truly, to paraphrase a Beatles song, love, in whatever form, is all we need.

Me with my 'album'

Growing up in a town where people go all out in preparing for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception; and coming from a middle-income earning family that would splurge during Christmas and New Year’s Eves, I’ve gotten used to getting my birthday present bundled with whatever Christmas gift (cash, usually), and feasting on leftover Noche Buena food on my birthday.

In all honesty, I’ve never had problems with it, really, because personally, I’d always be more excited to go from one house to another to ‘collect’ gifts from relatives. Heck, I’d be more excited during the town fiesta, since I’d get to try my luck at winning a dyed baby duck (the campaign against animal cruelty never reached the mountains) from spinning a crude pachinko, or from betting some coins on a very cheap derivative of a slot machine that is sophisticatedly called the Color Game.

Side story: Note that I would only get to visit relatives since I only have one Ninong who lives somewhere in far Rizal. If my memory serves me well, I only got to see him once so I can’t recall his name and face. And my mom said I have a Ninang, whom I strongly suspect, never existed (note to self: confront mom when I get back to Antipolo on the 31st)! Now that I think about, it’s a very good thing my parents didn’t meet a tragic accident when I was a kid or else, there’d be no one to take me in! LOL

Back to my story, I remember having a big, badass birthday celebration when I was seven, with balloons and a cake and the works and a grander one when I turned 21, courtesy of my brother. A party which, I must share with you, sent my face straight to the toilet bowl because there was just too much alcohol that night! Yeah, I am cool that way. I’d pass out at least once in a decade since I turned legal.

Anyway, those two celebrations would have been enough for me. I was thinking I would have a big celebration when I turn 40, since I grew up imagining how my life was supposed to begin when I am old and wrinkled. But then, people made some adjustments saying stuff like 30 is the new 20 and 30, the new 40. You get the drift.

So, you can just imagine how aghast my friends were and how pathetic I felt after realizing that I am being too un-cool and un-trendy when I decided to have pockets of celebration for my 30th birthday! But then again, I’ve always believed that one is never supposed to throw his own party. I respect people who do it out of the generosity of their hearts (and I gladly helped friends organize a big one when three of them decided to have a triple celebration of the big 3-0) but personally, I’ve always felt like I should wait until friends or family decide that I deserve to have a celebration because really, I wouldn’t dare bother people especially during this time of the year, in this country where the norm is that you attend at least three Christmas Parties every single week of December. He he he.

Which is the reason why I flipped big time when I saw some of my closest friends back in HS up to the present coming together for my birthday salubong cum ‘album launch’ last December 26!

The party started when my bodyguard for the night (Harbro Joseph) appeared from nowhere carrying an umbrella, ushering me to our condo’s clubhouse, which was amply decorated to look like there was a press conference. I believe I screamed a non-word and I felt my manager (honorary cousin Divine) guiding me to my designated spot, which I reached after greeting and hugging the founders of my Fans’ Club (played by Apl de Apz and Patty aka as Glydel Guevarra. hehehe), who gave me leis made from Malaysian Mums (beautifully stitched together by Twin B’s mom!).

The emcee, former GMA 7 news anchor (this is true) and co perfect (lol) Mich Cruz started the press conference by providing an overview of what’s going to happen next. It all started with a game, with my ‘album,’ containing 30 tracks especially selected by my friends, as the prize. Idol Mike, the producer, would play a song and my task was to name the title of the song and the one who picked it. I was able to guess all of them (with a little help from my friends!) and Mich handed over my album! I was overwhelmed with my friends’ effort because they were able to get messages from friends who are currently based in Australia (Ange), South Africa (Mike) and those who are non-Lingkod like Anjo and Rona!

Afterwards, the ‘members of the press’ were given the chance to have their individual pictures taken with me! He he he. I would later on find out that an autograph signing session was supposed to happen during the photo ops but I guess hunger got the better of everyone. But I am not complaining!

With everyone!

Apl De Apz and Twin B (LA Circlers) were the caterers for the night, with food donations from Joseph, Felix and Dang (my favorite couple), Mike and Mich, siblings St. Louie and Power Mars and booze from Pakner Analee, Patty, Egay and Divine. I have to say Apz and Twin B know me so well because everything was spot on! The food, the whole set up, the juice dispenser, heck there was even a fondue set! It was such a perfect night. The program was really, really enjoyable too!

Aps (top photo) and Mich

Another side story: My honorary cousin Divine was apologizing since she only got to read the reply from the Hekkers that they would attend the day after the surprise party. I told her that it was enough to know that they wanted to go. And the effort that everyone put in was already too much for her to even think about apologizing! 
Given that, I am writing this blog to remind myself that at one particular point in my life, I felt so much love, that if things would be less than awesome sometimes, I know I’d get by with a little help from my friends.

If you happen to read this and were there during the party, please accept my heartfelt gratitude. It was the most memorable party I’ve had so far. I can’t find the words to thank you guys for the love!
Just thinking about the whole thing – all the preparations, the coordination, the ‘plots’ that were meant to confuse me – makes me feel so blessed to have the kind of friends I have. I still couldn’t believe that they took time out to prepare a surprise party for me, at this time of the year! This is by far, the second sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. In case you’re wondering, I consider all the efforts of my parents to raise me as the sweetest. The third sweetest thing would be… Oh well, I am getting carried away.

To everyone who sent their messages and for picking such wonderful songs, you were all so very wonderful! If anything, your choices proved the authenticity of our friendship!

To those who wanted to come but weren’t able to do so due to various reasons, thank you for the positive energy. It surely contributed to make everything perfect!

Last side story: Darwin, my high school best friend called me because he only got to read the message after the party. Von, my ‘twin brother’ from HS was sick. Rona and Anjo are out of town. Patrina couldn’t make it. Jay said he’d just make it up to me. James Hush texted last night apologizing for not being able to come but reminded me of our important mission before the year ends, which is to pass out! I don’t know about passing out again though, since the memory of my last one is still a little fresh.

To end this post, I’d like to quote a line from the song that was picked by Joseph:

Believe it or not, I am walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free. I am flying away on a wing and a prayer. Who could it be, believe it or not, it’s just me!

Thank you, good Lord, for AWESOME friends (I am still not over the fact that conceptualization was done as early as December 6! Whoa!)

How Facebook Ruined My Christmas

2010-12-25T10:45:00.002+08:00

Most people didn't bother sending their Christmas greets through SMS this year. I remember the giddy feeling I'd get every time my phone beeped a Christmas ago. It was simple, but awesome. Especially the personalized messages. This Christmas though, people totally killed my Christmas joy by posting their generic greets...on Facebook! I mean, come on people, not everyone is living virtually!

I know, I know, it's quire ironic that I am also online, furiously typing away. But I got to get this out so I could spread some Christmas cheer!

At least I am decent enough not to post my rant as a Facebook status update. Now that would be hilarity to the max!

Gotta go and wrap some late Christmas presents!

Mall of Asia Epiphanies

2010-12-12T16:32:00.003+08:00

I know, I know. I have prolly used the word epiphany a gazillion times. But I just had one a few mins ago. Conveniently enough, I am in a free WiFi zone so I have the time and resources to pollute my blog, and your thoughts, dear reader with the seeds from my intellectual masturbation.

It just dawned on me how alone I felt in a sea of people (and I am telling you, this mall ain't called the largest mall in Asia for nothing!) Of course, this should be quite obvious considering that:

1. It is a Sunday, which is a family day on this side of the equator and people are just too preoccupied to care.
2. I am not the type who would welcome any sort of random interaction from strangers.
3. I am wearing a newsboy cap at Go Nuts Donuts.

You've prolly figured out by this time that this is one of those pointless, shameless blogs I would post every so often. But I really have a point, trust me.

People who know me well would be surprised if they'd find out that I am in MOA. Not for anything but MOA is too far from where I live, too family oriented and too crowded! But I would like to believe that I am such a good friend, that I'd willingly go to places I don't like to go to, just to share some sort of a milestone with a friend.

You see this good friend of mine named Divine will be attending a party and will be dressed in an evening gown, for the first time in her life! And since she wanted me to see her look gorgeous, she kind of asked me, or I volunteered to go, since I sensed that she wanted me to drop by SMX, which is a stone's throw away from MOA so I could check her out, quite literally.

When I woke up though, I wasn't feeling good about the whole idea, feeling as if it would be pointless. But then, knowing my friend, this is such a big deal for her. She doesn't wanna show off or anything. She wants to be affirmed, and I know that only her best friend could do that.

So I decided to have an early lunch and head out to run a few errands and drove off to Manila. It turned out to be a trip that was so worth it because the nearby church, which I really like structurally, will have the holy mass just in time for our meet up schedule and I was able to do some Christmas shopping! How's that for awesome?

Digression: I just a call from my sister who was asking me whether I threw away her bill statements and a checque since I cleaned up our flat yesterday. I am so confident I didn't throw anything valuable but now that she's asking me, I am beginning to worry if I had indeed, unwittingly threw away the damned checque! Rats!!!

Anyway, I got to get going. Mass will start in a few mins. And this stupid kid keeps on bugging me.

Oh how I love being left alone sometimes.

13 Conversations About One Thing

2010-11-22T07:40:00.002+08:00

Since I was too lazy to grab dinner and knew for a fact that I had already eaten food that would allow me to hibernate for more than a week - if I were a reptile - over the past couple of days, I decided to just stay in and watch a movie.

The first challenge was to figure out how to turn on the blasted TV(I really am a techie idiot that way). As soon as I got that figured out, the next challenge was choosing what to watch, hoping that it would complement the whole experience of a lazy stay in since I view these moments as sacred (I am telling you, lazy weekends have been few and far between for me for as long as I can remember).

I decided that I would watch this movie called 13 Conversations About One Thing, since I felt it would be a total brain twister. I thought it would help me achieve my goal of having a lazy but NOT stupid Sunday evening.

As expected, the movie is Sophie's World meets Psych 150 (Theories of Personality) - which in my book, is AWESOME!

The movie explores a lot of existential questions without giving away all the answers. As the characters discover things about themselves and the world around them, one is reminded of an important reality that is, we may be living different lives but we are interconnected. It could be by virtue of parallel experiences, or actual interactions that impact our lives and the way we think, or see things.

Brilliantly acted and carefully structured, 13 Conversations About One Thing stays with you long after the credits have rolled. Watch it if you have the time.

Baguio Please Don't Go - epilogue, if I may call it such

2010-11-09T19:46:00.002+08:00

Truth is, I couldn't edit my previous post anymore hence I am creating a new one. Anyway, I ran out of things to say because I got techno stressed so I'll just say, I will try to complete this post when I return to Baguio before the year ends. Some kind of an encore, I guess. :)

Baguio Please Don't Go

2010-11-09T19:39:00.002+08:00

I just had my first trip to the City of Pines for this year (because I always try to go at least twice) and it was: AWESOME!

First of all, the City Proper, which by my own definition covers Burnham, SM and the Baguio Public Market was notably cleaner. It was really refreshing to walk around the city streets and not be assaulted by piles and piles of trash. And they also got rid of the excessive stalls around Burnham. Talked to one of the cabbies and he said that it could prolly be attributed to the change in leadership - props to the new Mayor!

Secondly, Baguio weather when I went there was topnotch. Though it got really cold in the morning of Day 3, the weather all throughout our stay was mighty fine.

Thirdly, I was able to visit all my favorite joints (hey, I am a little old school) namely: Kidlat Tahimik's Oh My Gulay, Glenn's 50's Diner along Leonard Wood, Tam-Awan Village, Liitle John's at Camp John Hay and the best part is, one of my best buddies liked them too, which means I have an additional 'convert' who'd very willingly go with me in the coming years!

Finally, what made the trip even more awesome was the discovery of some new places. We stayed at Inn Rocio and an almost 30 square-meter room only cost 1600! Fine it was old but the staff was very polite, the breakfast was good enough, a liter of bottled water only costs 25 bucks and the best part is, there was free wee fee! AWESOME!

Upon arrival in the morning of Oct. 30, we went straight to the Victory ticket booth to get our bus tickets going home (since we were anticipating a long queue on our departure date) and then hopped on a cab to Inn Rocio hoping that they could accommodate us for an early check in, and guess what, they did! We rested for a couple of hours and decided to head out for lunch. Off we went to Oh My Gulay which is at the topmost floor of La Azotea, a building situated along Session Road.

If you'll have the chance to go there, don't miss their Lumpia Salad and their Vegetarian Clubhouse Sandwich. Noteworthy as well is their Eggplant Parmigiana (which I didn't have for this particular visit since I wanted to try something new). Their pasta dishes are not for those who like 'em pasta dishes really flavorful. Best way to cap off a healthful meal from OMG is by having their Dayap Iced Tea.

After lunch, we went straight to Tam-Awan Village, which is a replica of an Ifugao Village and a house for some serious artworks! After hanging out at Tam-Awan philosophizing about life and how things are turning out for the better in our individual lives, we went to Arko ni Apo and got to meet Mang Ben Hur Villanueva, the renowned sculptor who made the Supremo at BGC and the statue of the Risen Christ in Caleruega.

It was such an amazing gift to have the chance to talk to someone so wise and creative and pragmatic! We learned so much from our relatively long-ish talk with Mang Ben. An artist who doesn't misbehave is a great one, I believe. But an artist who willingly shares life lessons is AWESOME!

After that, we decided to drop by the public market to do an initial Pasalubong shopping. On our way home, we saw a polvoron and a binatog stall. I've never had binatog with sugar and milk and I was pleasantly surprised by how good it was! It was AWESOME! At that point, I promised myself that I'd buy some more binatog before going home.

Being the sloths that we are, we went back to Inn Rocio to rest and ended up dozing off. We woke up at around 6 and decided to go to 50's Diner. On our way to the diner, we made a wrong turn while traversing that road which I confidently thought would lead us to Glenn's and ended up on North Drive so we decided to just take a cab to Leonard Wood. Up until now, I am so amazed how I could get lost in very familiar places. Not AWESOME.

At 50's Diner, I suggest you have for breakfast their Poorman's Meal, Corned Beef and the Pancake Tower (that is if you're really hungry and have a sweet tooth). You may also want to try their yummy burgers and their giant clubhouse sandwich. Their pasta dishes are okay. Value for money is their main proposition I believe so if you're looking for anything fancy, you can't find it there. Their interiors and even the uniform of their waitresses really complete the overall 50's feel!

After dinner, we parked our lazy selves at Inn Rocio. We retired early after watching a lot of Youtube and MTV videos. Slacker life is slick! He he he

In the morning of Day 2, we decided to do some exercise by renting a bike at Burnham. Now the last time I rode a bike was back in 2007 so my ride was a little wobbly for the first 5 minutes. But afterwards, it was fun fun fun pedaling around the park enjoying the cool breeze. We even passed by a strawberry taho vendor. It was okay. I bet he could use more syrup to give ,the taho a richer flavor. After an hour of biking, we went back to Inn Rocio to freshen up for lunch but we ended up sleeping. He he he. Tis prolly one of the reasons why I really liked the trip! I was able to really rest and enjoy the weather!

We woke up at around 2 and decided that we'll go straight to Camp John Hay for a late lunch. We looked around but ended up at Little John's, which serves decent fish and chips and baby back ribs. But what really kills it would be the ambiance. If you could position yourself near the window, you're in for a really good view.

Since we were going to hear mass, and I forgot to bring a pair of jeans, I decided to check out the store that sells export overruns and I was able to get a pair of Levi's for less than 2k! Talk about awesome luck!

We also passed by SM to check out the ongoing sale before heading down to the Baguio Cathedral. After hearing mass, we were too lazy for any adventure so we decided to just have dinner at Sizzling Steak along Session. Their Australian Rib Eye offers absolute value for money!

We walked around the city to burn some calories but decided that we just wanted to avail of the free wifi at the hotel so we just ended up watching funny YouTube videos, and checking out failblog and the awesome site, Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber :)

Not An Ordinary Day

2010-09-09T11:47:00.002+08:00

I woke up to an ordinary day

As I opened my eyes, I uttered
A short prayer of thanksgiving

I got off my bed,
Turned off the A/C
Grabbed the towel
And went downstairs to take a shower

Before hitting the shower
I raided the fridge
To drink whatever fruit juice there is

Today it is Ruby Grapefruit
from Ceres
A Brand from South Africa.

And I wonder, we never get to have too many products from there.

Ceres, by the way, as the carton says is a beautiful, fertile valley
Tucked away in a crescent of mountains at the Southern tip of Africa.
Blessed with abundant sunshine and fertile soil, it is home to some of the world's

Most succulent fruits.

Before I was able to pour myself some

Ruby Grapefruit

I greeted my Mom, who was in the kitchen, a

Good morning.

And she said (in the vernacular):

Good morning. We should thank God for another beautiful day.

May your days be never ordinary :)

Good Vibes Are Coming Your Way

2010-09-07T11:56:00.000+08:00

I was feeling particularly hollow last night and a flood of good memories washed over me, which got me in a really crazy I-miss-everyone mood! I didn’t want the BV to kill me since I was already wheezing like an old carburetor so I sent out an SMS to my loves which read:

Have you ever felt that feeling na you miss people like crazy? Tonight I am feeling that. I love you guys! I miss you! Good night!

The reaction I got was especially overwhelming. All the while I thought it was the messages of concern (well reading back, I did sound a bit suicidal) that got me in a really jolly mood but this morning, I backtracked a bit and realized that I was already feeling good while I was selecting the names of the important people in my phonebook and then it hit me: the mere act of spreading good vibes is potent in making you feel awesome.

It just dawned on me that we always have the choice to either feel good or bad about our situation and we have the power to do things that’ll help us be in a better state of mind. I know it’s not foolproof but the point is, we might be allowing ourselves to get into that I-feel-depressed-maybe-I-should-wallow mood too often that we are slowly becoming a bunch of ungrateful, whiny brats.

Trust me, at this point in my life, I have credibility to tell you that it is oftentimes just a matter of perspective. Take this: I had two botched attempts at having a relationship within the space of six months; I’ve been sick for almost a week now; I missed a trip to Bolinao last weekend and the birthday celebration of a good friend. Been gaining weight and pimples are breaking out lately. So if you’re telling me that you’re having it so bad, then I’d say: stop the drama. Life is full of real problems anyway so stop focusing on your existential crises. People are dying from famine and drought and natural disasters. There are some which we can control – the disasters that we choose to create for ourselves.

I just got a pop of the happy pill, and I hope the effect lingers until the start of the holidays (holiday blues, I’d appreciate it very much if you don’t come this year).

Letters From Romeo

2010-08-19T17:47:00.000+08:00

You were my first love. We were 14. You stirred in me a young boy’s longing to be with the opposite sex. You were pretty and sweet. I liked your dimples a lot, and the fact that you didn’t play coy at all when I asked you if you wanted to be my girlfriend made me believe that girls weren’t so difficult to figure out, after all.

You are now married to an Indian. And you two have a cutesy little kid named after a flower. You are living so far away so I guess it’s safe to say that I did think we’d end up marrying each other – and be the couple that everyone would envy especially during high school homecoming. I waited for you, even stifled my feelings for another girl just so I could stay true to my promise that I’d wait for you. Your graduation day came and when I asked if we could finally be together, you said I’ve changed a lot. But I know I haven’t.

You made my heart leap the first time I saw you in PE class. You approached me after class ‘cos you found out that we go to the same college – and have the same course! I really, really fell in love with you quickly. You were, and will always be my dream girl. Pretty, smart, funny, flexible, weird and sexy. I am not sure I will ever find anyone like you. I am hoping I’ll find somebody better – but I am sure God will give me the best.

You broke my heart. So bad. I was young and didn’t know any better and I let a good chance at love pass me by. But things change, and time forgets everything, especially those we want to bury in the murky recesses of our consciousness. I should thank you because you helped shape the person I’ve become – hence, you have two paragraphs in this letter.

You were a victim of my insecurity and my misery. You gave me so much love that I got scared. It was not supposed to be serious. I got afraid when you started giving me too much – time, attention, everything I thought I wanted. And I didn’t know what to do with what you were offering me because at that point, I had nothing to give. I am glad that you seem to have found happiness – and congratulations on that baby you’re carrying.

You were very serene the first time I saw you – and when I met you, I was surprised at the richness of your life experiences. We both loved music and the arts and I thought we were going to be perfect for each other. Then again, I had to go away for a short while and things got messed up. We got back together again recently but things have changed. Maybe the girl in the second paragraph was right. Sometimes, people change and it just doesn’t work out for the better, at least from one’s own perspective.

You made me re-discover a lot of the good things about truly liking someone. But I don’t know. With you I feel like I am back to square one. And you know what, I now know that girls, when they finally become women, become much more difficult to figure out.

An Online Personality Test says I am a:

2010-08-02T16:02:00.001+08:00

Builder:

You are consistent, reliable, thorough and persevering. You can also be socially charming. So you are good at managing others at home, in your social circles and at work.

Hmmm. This could be a good reason to support a decision :)

The Heart Beats

2010-07-21T13:21:00.003+08:00

The heart is beating violently, trying to pump the blood needed to fuel the brain, to quench the thirst of the soul for the answers.

The heart just keeps beating, pumping, thumping. It's trying to do its best to meet the demands of the mind, which is operating on a fever pitch, if that's even possible. The neurons are firing violently and the heart palpitates. It's a full on war to arrive at a conclusion, or at the very least, logical arguments that would support or contradict a decision.

The brain needs additional information to properly process situation at hand. Signs are twisted, and the playing field evens out.

Oh God help me. And may the heart stabilize very soon.

Worship, Bitterroot Landing and Equus: R3 (Reflection, Re-reading and Review)

2010-07-19T13:44:00.006+08:00

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve searched for things to worship – bits of rock, storm fronts, bugs with turquoise glitter on their wings. But rocks chip, storm churn themselves out, and bugs can be crushed with a heel or a raindrop. Gods change colors and spin themselves new garments every day. The most we can hope for is to be allowed to watch.

I have learned that the products of worship are always two-fold. If you study the moon too hard for too long, it will fall down luminous upon you. And with moon in your eyes and moon anchoring your feet, you can never see the stars again.

I am looking for a place where worship finds balance, where it does not debase me or exalt me so high that I can’t return. Gods change colors and spin themselves new garments every day. I want to be able to stand in awe of them, one at a time.”

- Sheri Reynolds, Bitterroot Landing

By the very unstable nature of our status as transients both of our bodies and this world, we all yearn for something that can provide us with the sense of calm, or even hope – to achieve that much longed-for ‘balance.’

Faced with a myriad of issues and decisions to be made – we are constantly barraged by external and internal ideas every second of our waking life (which also happens at a more hyperactive level while we’re on snooze mode, if we go by the principles presented in my new favorite movie called Inception – more on this in a separate post). If we analyze how we are able to get by and operate with a semblance of normalcy, by societal standards at least, we can infer that the nurture component of our development comes hard at play.

Working on this premise, the play Equus presents the powerful effects of the way we deal with the people around us; explores how we lose our zest for life as we grow old (and weary of the everyday grind of our day-to-day existence); objectively presents how conditioning alters our view of life’s complexities and; teaches us that while we have the tendency to worship the tangibles, it is important to believe in a higher power, because rocks chip, storm churn themselves out, and bugs can be crushed with a heel or a raindrop.

I was expecting a heavily psychological play when I went to Onstage in Greenbelt to witness Rep’s staging of Equus. Having read parts of a transcription, I almost bought my photocopy of the outdated DSM IV so I can better understand Alan Strang, one of the main characters, who committed an irreverent act against the gods he worships. However, when I left the theater, I was sure that I gained an understanding not only of the methods employed by Doctor Martin Dysart to help Alan sort things out, but of the nature of worship, and how we tend to direct it to undeserving gods.

History will tell us that people are predisposed to worship – from a golden animal statue as mentioned in the Old Testament to the heroes we worship now, which by the way ranges from aspirational film and TV characters to talented songwriters who make the kitschy trappings of our mundane lives sound poetic – and this may be psychologically healthy to a certain extent; if only to give us that sense of personal definition with the help of social constructs disguised as expensive watches or a Beatles album.

However, without a full understanding of the expanse of the power of these objects of worship, it could be very dangerous. And so in Equus, Alan Strang, who becomes too ashamed of what he has done, his nakedness, his vulnerability and his indiscretion to Nugget tries to hide from his gods, in the most brutal way possible.

On a road parallel to that which leads to a deeper understanding of what drove Alan to blind the horses, Doctor Dysart comes face to face (minus the panel of ‘experts’ and the sawsaweros and sawsaweras, sorry I just had to put that in. hehehe) with his personal demons. Alan asks him the questions that reverberate long after their sessions are over and he thankfully finds some of the answers towards the end.

Miguel Faustman, even without a point of comparison delivered a credible portrayal of Doctor Dysart, who had to heal his own wounds as he tries to heal Alan's pyschological scars. Red Concepcion’s portrayal had the right amount of lunacy and passion, which resulted to a quite believable characterization of Alan Strang. Pheona Baranda, whom I first saw as Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre (had to Google this name!) in Spelling Bee was dangerous and delivered a powerful performance that was quite subdued (go figure). After I got over the fact that she’s actually not a kid in a spelling competition (that’s how memorable she was!), I started to feel how her character was very critical in pushing the story forward All the other support characters, including the caricature-ish nurse did their share to make the play a memorable one.

Equus is quite heavy stuff and it will force you to think of the heroes that you worship - the ones that affect how you view things and motivate you to move from one point to another. As for me, I just felt so glad that my days of worshipping rocks, storms and bugs are over because I have found God.

Watch Equus. Read the Bible. Go to Mass. Join a community. You may do these in whatever order you want. Just don’t forget that your ultimate worship has to be devoted to God, and God alone.

“For as long as I can remember, I’ve searched for things to worship. I’ve found gods in crickets and gods reflected in tiny cricket eyes. I’ve met gods already dead, gods too young to save me. Once I prayed with my palms turned up, ready to receive. That bleak creator spit into my hands.

I’ve learned to say thank you.
I’ve learned to mean it.

Gods change colors and spin themselves new garments every day. Sometimes wearing our own aged faces, they tap us on the shoulder, wave to say, “You’re going to make it through.”

Once a god showed me her faded scar. When I poked it she said, “Ouch.” Then she let me drink her breast milk until dawn.

When you kneel to kiss the god’s firm foot, find toes shaped like your own, what can you besides worship? What can you feel except joy?

- Sheri Reynolds, Bitterroot Landing

Letters to Angela / Dear John - Part 1

2010-07-16T11:44:00.008+08:00

Read my correspondence with my good friend Angela here.

Enjoy!

Why

2010-05-11T18:26:00.002+08:00

do good intentions yield bad results? Is it a function of timing? For some, time is never an enemy but somehow, in a recent unfolding, it seemed as if every single component was right, but they all happened at the wrong time.

Why is that when we have such high hopes for something, oftentimes, they turn out to be such epic failures? Given that, is happiness a mere function of management of expectations? How about the beauty of unpredictability? And the magic of nice surprises?

We can never know for sure why things happen, and why is it that even if we laid down all our cards, we still end up losing? Maybe we're not supposed to do that. However, there's a nagging feeling that says: maybe, just maybe, the important thing is that we had the courage to try.

And try we did. And believe it or not, I did try my very best. But I guess people change. Or rather, circumstances change. And we never know for sure where the discord begins and where the next step leads us to.

I See You

2010-04-20T11:31:00.004+08:00

There are so many things that I ought to say to some people, but let me start by simply saying I choose silence because I am too inebriated (in a bad, comatose sortof way) with the stress of explaining myself.

While I used to maximize my amazing ability to get my message across (ok, too much self love right there), which almost always help me sleep better at night, nowadays, I prefer to just do and not say.

Do. Say.

See. Even the letter composition highlights that it is easier to do than say.

However, why is it that people demand for explanations? And why do we travel such great lengths in trying to make ourselves understood? I know, I know that it has something to do with the communication loop and stuff. And it does keep us from torturing one another but then again, I believe what's left unsaid matters most.

Which makes me fly off to Avatar land and dream that we can all just hold hands and sway to the beat and tell each other, I.SEE.YOU.

A Sappy Pop Valentine Story

2010-02-09T11:02:00.006+08:00

Warning: Feel free to sing some of the italicized sentences.

My two readers would think that by now, after the previous entry (which now rests in recycle bin heaven) where I professed my love for somebody, I would be very busy preparing for a big Vday date. Well, naaaat.

As I am the type who always hopes for the best and expects the worst, I resolve that this Valentine's Day will not be just like any other Vday for the past, I dunno, six, seven years?

Nobody wants to be lonely and alone (but really, I am not exactly lonely and alone - not having a girlfriend shouldn't make you feel less of a person). And while Vday is just another extremely successful moneymaking idea, my being single (which is surprising, as my bestfriends would say, given that I am such a guuuud cutch - private joke) is something that never really bothers me year round, except when the lurve month starts to reel in.

In the guise of my usual feeling humorist writing style, I want to share with you, my dear two readers, that I am going to be (Renee, if you're reading this, I am getting rid of the gonna and wanna as well) bluer than blue, sadder than sad this Valentine's. While this is actually, for the record, the first time that I got busted (at least formally)and it hurts like hell, I resolve that I would not feel sad on Valentine's Day. If I can convince myself that commuting is better than bringing a car some days, then I can do this, even for just one day. Right? Right!

I know that I will have to deal with the hurt eventually (say, on the 15th?). In the meantime, I will spend time knowing myself more, serving God through my community and of course, focusing on delivering good results at work. As She said, if it's meant to be, then it will happen. Hay, this could really be one of those we had the right love at the wrong time kindof thing. But I am not fazed. I stand by my statement a few weeks back:

Lahat tayo panalo, because God loved us first!:)

My prayer is that you'll also find it in you to stay strong this Valentine's Day.

(Interestingly, a friend posted on her Facebook account this status update, and to paraphrase: if you can't cry about it, just sweat it out. That said, I am running on Valentine's Day. Unlike Forrest Gump though, this is not my way of running away from my sadness. I am thinking that this is more like me, running towards what the future holds, with excitement)

Thank You For Smoking, The Buddy Factor and my New Year Epiphanies

2010-01-02T23:57:00.002+08:00

Over the long holiday break I got to watch two great movies entitled Thank You For Smoking starring Aaron Eckhart and The Buddy Factor starring Kevin Spacey.

The former tells the story of a spokesperson for a tobacco research institute and posits that while a good argument can make you win, at one pivotal point, you will realize that it is more important to be right; while the latter is about an idealistic film graduate trying to break into Hollywood, who realizes that life is not like the movies and that you can get what you think you want, but you have to pay the price.

I can say that I am great student of the silver screen. I try to get whatever positive learning I can get from the stuff I watch and these two movies made me realize a few very important lessons.

First of all, TYFS tells me that as I get older and face bigger responsibilities, I don’t have to ‘win’ at all time. My aspirations should focus on doing what is right, and that I should always endeavor to make wise decisions. When faced with a dilemma, I should be able to factor in all things, putting forward the best interest of those I am accountable for, including the big man up there.

Secondly, I have learned from TBF that if we focus too much on getting what we want of this world, there is a big possibility that we’d end up messing things up – we can get a tad too sensitive about little things, we flex our morals (a truly ludicrous paradox, I must say, but it does exist these days) and we might end up paying a high price for something transitory in nature, which, needless to say, makes it all worthless.

The characters in the movie suffer from real life problems and they were effectively fleshed out to enable us to empathize with them – which is why even if they make stupid decisions at some points, we are forced to look inside us and ask the important question: would I have done the same thing?

What I really like about the aforementioned movies is that the writers and directors did not forget their moral obligation to impart important lessons (in a way that is not preachy at all, I must say) along the way.

To end this post in some discordant way, I’d like to paraphrase Kevin Spacey’s character in TBF. He says, while he was tied to a chair – that human love, given its flawed nature doesn’t conquer all. Putting it into a spiritual context, the call is for us to seek God’s love first, and only then can we achieve true happiness.

As we welcome 2010, may the Lord grant us the grace to want what is truly essential and stick to what is right.

Happy New Year!

Avatar: The Great New Movie from James Cameron

2009-12-17T14:13:00.002+08:00

It would definitely be a gross understatement to say that Avatar is a great movie. Because apart from all the flossy CGI, the credible plot (although there are some rehashed twists), the refreshingly unTwilight-ish love story, interesting characters (although there are some two-dimensional characters still) and the great visual effects (oh did I mention that already?), the creator seems to have a mission bigger than the Titanic.

I did some research and found out that The James Cameron did everything from scratch. After finishing the story, which according to sources was inspired by historical events like the Vietnam War - definitely evident in one of the more highly-charged moments of the movie - he realized that he would also need to find a more advanced technology (and an ultra talented team) to execute his vision. And so everyone who went to the Premiere Night at the Powerplant Mall last night was extremely thankful that he did find the technology and the team and of course, the mojo, to finish this movie!

I can go on and on but I’d rather stop at this point. All I can say is do yourself a favor. Watch it. Please. And for the good of all mankind, try (although it’d be really hard, trust me) to focus on the bigger message. Then you will believe that there’s hope for us all.

Spawn of Holiday Blues + Sappy Late 80's Music

2009-12-04T12:11:00.002+08:00

My brain is an expressway of sluggish thoughts. Quite discordant, I must say – and this results to a sort of cirrus-y cloud of loneliness that is killing me, but not in a hit-me-baby-one-more-time sort of way. There’s no bubblegum pop soundtrack here to lighten things up, just the dark melancholy of an American Beauty musical score. Beautiful still, but it conjures an imagery of a solitary afternoon walk in some God-forsaken place.

Times like this, I feel like sleeping all day. This state of mind also triggers an urge to clean up my room or go some place far away. I was thinking a few minutes ago, I probably need a retreat so I can meditate and allow God to occupy my thoughts – to find comfort in knowing that everything will turn out fine, in His time. To paraphrase the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke, I want to have the opportunity to practice being patient with all that is unresolved in my heart and love the questions themselves.

Now more than ever, my belief in God’s power is intensified because recent happenings just proved to me that it is foolish to count on anyone, or anything in this world. He is the only constant and consistent entity in this vast universe teeming with inconsistencies, confusion, pain and all things that keep us away from realizing the mission.

I suddenly remember this advice from one of the characters in the movie 500 Days of Summer that highlights the healing power of writing to get over something, or someone. And it seems to be working its magic, right about now.

My prose is my Prozac.

Long Weekend A-ha's!

2009-11-30T16:37:00.002+08:00

A-ha # 1: No matter how much I try to be the ultra sensitive, refined type of guy, I will always tend to get too focused when watching an adrenaline fix type of movie such as Taken.

A-ha # 2: I will always be someone who would laugh while watching a supposedly dramatic scene or shed a tear or two during the weirdest parts of a movie. The Elf by Will Ferell made me shed two drops of tears while New Moon cracked me up big time.

A-ha # 3: It is impossible for me to write people off. I have realized that the reason behind this is that I have a distorted view of this whole act of writing people off. It's like, you're wishing them ill or something. But yup, I CAN move on! Yoohoo!

The big 3-0 is coming and I am watching out for its evil effects on my psyche. Must be 7/7 always.

Good Vibes Badly Needed

2009-11-22T16:07:00.003+08:00

Our lives, despite God's perfect design, by virtue of its transitory nature is always bound to be peppered with disappointments, frustrations, the works.

People would always behave in unexpected ways, and everything does a Murphy on you, right on cue, leaving you agitated, and positioned near the left of the middle, in terms of the overall perspective on how to resolve things, and move forward.

And so at this specific minute, as I type these words, I pray that God will grant me the grace to get through these entanglements and face tomorrow with a fresh perspective and a pocketfull of good vibes to tide me over.

Can't wait for the long weekend to come.

Life is Beautiful 3

2009-11-10T16:53:00.004+08:00

Care to provide the captions? :)

An All Saints' Day Reflection

2009-11-01T14:02:00.002+08:00

I am currently working on the first of four presentations that I need to turn in by Tuesday. In addition to that, I will have to go to the cemetery to visit my Father's tomb. And, I've been thinking about the movie 500 Days of Summer and I just know I have to write about it.

The movie presents a view on life in a way that is both realistic and magical. It effectively shows that as we flow from one day to the next, we are confronted by in your face, painful realities (and realizations) and are also blessed by glimpses of heaven. But the movie does not resort to a hasty generalization that life is a neverending, alternating series of happy and sad moments, but it does say that our brain has a way of evading the bad memories, as we get caught up in ideals that we choose to hold on to. In short, it tells us that as we go on living our own lives, we have to have a healthy dose of both the red and the blue pills.

******

All Saints' Day had always been my favorite holiday. And that's not even because I attend Halloween Parties and stuff. Now that I am older, I have realized that the celebratory nature of this event (at least in our part of the world) provides a good contrast to the concept of losing a loved one, balancing everything out. After all, death should be a celebration of life because we know that those who went ahead of us are joining our Creator, in the most fantastic way possible.

******

Back to reality. I have presentations to make and must prepare to go to the cemetery in a little while. By the grace of God I had been able to move on after years of holding on to my ideals. I am nervously anticipating the experience of Autumn. I do hope this season comes along soon, but while I wait, I resolve to do good, such that every season becomes filled with love, and every holiday, a celebration of life.

Happy All Saints' Day, everyone!

My New Baby Has Arrived

2009-10-28T13:14:00.005+08:00

Lucky Charm.

Is the name of my new car.

She's a 2009 Lancer 1.6 GLX. I took some photos but she's not photogenic (either that, or I don't have the right camera / talent) so I decided against attaching pictures. I had her blessed by Father Jonathan (the one who celebrates mass here at the office) over lunch today.

She's by far, the easiest I've handled. She picks up quite fast and can do the steep Sumulong Highway incline on third gear. She arrived yesterday, and did wipe all the irritations I had away.

Scarlett is now being used by my nephew. She will always have a special place in my heart. Despite the numerous problems she gave me, Scarlett taught me how to love unconditionally, flaws and all.

Scarlett and I definitely had our moments. We bonded in Tagaytay, the Red Bamboo Spa, outreach activities and went to UP (for yogging). However, she consumes too much gas because of her age, which dissuaded me from bringing her on out of town trips.

We also had our disagreements. There was one time, in the middle of busy, 7:30 AM Libis, when she suddenly had a bitch fit and refused to start because her battery terminals got loose. Or, the overheating incident while on Ortigas Bridge, when she started emitting smoke from her radiator like a chain smoker from hell - after her tune up, mind you, which made it doubly disheartening.

I can actually tell you some more near break up stories but the last one, which I didn't think was for good, was when she suddenly overheated while I was making a right to Sta.Lucia area to drop my friend off. Apparently, there was too much pressure in her radiator, and upon closer inspection, her engine had too much dirt in it, hence a top overhaul was required.

She sat in the garage for more than a week before the electrician took her away. This happened after a wheel aligment and replacement of her lower suspension assembly. Whew. She'd always throw a fit after a major trip to the service center.

Could it be that she knew I was about to get a new one? Either that, or she didn't like the fact that while I converted her to power steering already, she still didn't have power windows? As with most relationships, I now ask: Where did I go wrong?

All the questions in my mind sortof diappeared when I saw Lucky Charm. A definite attention grabber with her black bezel type headlamps and Ralliart-type radiator front grille, it was love at first sight. Scarlett has better mags and the rear spoiler just works for her but this one needs no accessories to look stunning. She's just, I dunno, a class of her own. She's all powered and very responsive, just the way I like it.

Laki Tsarm, Lucky Charm. You may pronounce it however you like, but you can't change her name.

Perfect Timing

2009-10-17T22:14:00.002+08:00

Tonight, I will declare that God, is the God of perfect timing. A bad news did not affect me as much because He had allowed me to see the bigger picture, and at the same time, gave me the grace to just let go and let Him do the work.

The whole cycle of being truly at peace with this unfolding has yet to be concluded, and while nasty thoughts cross my mind every now and then whenever I think of the personalities involved in this recent unfortunate event, I try to be beyond petty - as one of my bestfriends said (as translated in my head after 'processing') things just happen and people, no matter how good their intentions are, could really hurt you in one way or another.

This is a bit off tangent but a lingering question in my head since early this morning would be: If a feeling actually vanished before it got expressed to the supposed recipient, does it still warrant any sortof attention? Or it's as good as lost, therefore, almost non-existent? The concept is there hence, cerebrally, you still form a reaction to anything related to it but somehow, it doesn't have to have an affect on you in any way anymore, since you already classified it as immaterial in the first place. Confusing, eh?

Hmmmm. My head's spinning.

How full is full?

2009-10-13T13:06:00.003+08:00

Below link features a story on a woman born with half a brain. The title says, Born with half a brain, woman living full life. I read through the article which, at the surface level highlights how relative full is, but upon reflection tells us that the 'fullness' that, well, us full-brained people want is almost always beyond the basics. I am guilty of this myself but the feeling of guilt begs the question: how do we redefine this sort of fullness, such that we don't feel bad about having the minor comforts that we get to enjoy? Could it be achieved by being a good citizen? A good family member? A philanthropist? A friend? I will not attempt to provide an answer to this one. If ever any of you will have a good explanation (other than of course, the one that I know already, which happens to be the biblical response), please leave a comment. I will be more than interested to read what you have to say.

http://edition.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/10/12/woman.brain/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Of Frozen Water and King Edward - The Hongkong - Macau Adventure

2009-09-17T09:04:00.008+08:00

I just came back from a pleasure trip to Hongkong (with a side trip to Macau) and I am still beaming from the experience. If anything, the trip reinforced several important truths:

1. Walking for half a day can make even the smartest individuals (like my friend Joseph) say things like: Frozen Water.
2. The humidity promotes slower brain activity such that you just assume you can re-title royalty, like what I did to Prince Edward, when we were trying to recall which specific station we were supposed to disembark (!?!) at to get to Nathan Road.

Kidding aside, I realized that indeed:

1. Fun is what you bring with you;
2. One shouldn't be afraid to do silly things;
3. It's always helpful to ask for directions and;
4. We should never lose that sense of wonder (the kind that kids have).

We arrived in HK a few minutes before 8 am and I was really amazed by the facilities at the airport. There's an area where you can actually shower (for a fee, but I bet this should be helpful to those executives who live out of a suitcase) and when you escalate down the subway, there's a train that connects to the Airport Express. Talk about efficient!

After buying our ticket that will bring us to Kowloon, we entered the massive Airport Express ramp and waited for two minutes for the train. Onboard the flossy Airport Express Train, we were all praying that the hotel management would be able to accommodate our request for an early check in. And they did! Little did we know that it was forthcoming of things that came afterwards as the trip, inspite of the disappointing first night dinner, a signal no. 8 storm on the third day and the killer humidity, the trip was a testament to what John Edward Masefield, an English Poet and Novelist said: The days that make us happy make us wise.

Day 1: Shopping at Mongkok and Avenue of the Stars

Being a group of three guys, you can never expect us to go to the night market and haggle. So on our first day, we walked the whole stretch of Nathan Road and of that street parallel to it, to check out the shops that we don't have in the Philippines like H&M, Cotton On and the HK staples like Giordano, G2000 and Bossini. We ended up buying a lot and I will post the pictures of the stuff I bought when I have the time.

After a few hours of walking and checking out the shops, our stomachs started grumbling; so we went inside a mall to find a good place to have our first HK meal. Our strategy was simple. We would pick the restaurant with the longest queue, and boy did our strategy work! The lunch was really good, and reasonably priced. I had a simple beef dish but the rice that came with it was just really good. It has spring onions and other green leafy stuff. I am bad with names but it's the one nearest to the entrance of Langham Place Hotel .

We were determined to make the most out of the day so we still scoured the shops after our late lunch to buy stuff and some pasalubong items. Towards the end of the day, we decided that we'd visit the Avenue of the Stars. I have a strong feeling that the whole Baywalk concept was a rip off of this nice park by the bay. We also went to this bell tower place of some sort with a nice fountain and an imposing structure. There are just so many good spots around HK where you can spend endless hours doing nothing! he he he.

After resting a bit and sampling a street delicacy made of cuttlefish at the Avenue of the Stars, we decided to head back to our hotel to have an authentic Chinese dinner, but much to our dismay, there weren't too many dining joints within the area so we just decided to eat at this hole in the wall resto that served mediocre-tasting food. But it was the least of our concern (well, it was on my part) because all we wanted to do was to rest and prepare for our trip to Macau the next day.

Day 2: Macau

We woke up at around 7 am so we could catch an English Service of the Holy Mass at the Holy Rosary Church near Jordan Road. From there, we asked around for directions from fellow Pinoys and we got very detailed instructions from a friendly, motherly lady.

En route to the MTR Station that would bring us to the Macau Ferry Terminal, we passed by this interesting looking restaurant that served roast duck and suckling pig. We decided to have our lunch there and boy was it fun. I took some pictures for posterity but my friend Joseph has yet to give me a copy of the pictures. I will post them really soon!

The ferry boat to Macau is Turbojet and even the Economy Class is quite decent. Besides, the trip just lasts for an hour. Tip: don't forget to ask for special offers because we were able to get a 30 HKD / person discount since we used a Visa card and bought round trip tickets already. While onboard the ferry, we also saw a promo for Visa cardholders that would allow one to stay in one of 'em plush Macau hotels for a reasonable cost.

Upon arrival at Macau, there were free shuttle buses that would bring people to the different hotels / casinos. We took the Venetian shuttle because we wanted to see the biggest casino in the world, and its majestic architecture that had been the subject of a Nat Geo feature.

The Venetian did not disappoint in any way. The 'Plaza' area has the wow factor that can make anyone go, well, whoa wow!!! I don't want to describe it because words just won't suffice. I will let the pictures speak for themselves. Watch out for those pics, will post them very soon! The food court offered International Cuisine and I had burger and strawberry smoothie from Fat Burger. My friends had something Chinese. We were all very happy afterwards.

After eating we explored the other parts of The Venetian and spotted a curious looking slot machine. It was my first time to play and I won 300 HKD! Talk about beginner’s luck!

After playing, we decided that we wanted to check out the City of Dreams. The Venetian and the City of Dreams are both along Cotai Strip so we rode the shuttle to the City of Dreams.

The lobby of the hotel has a ginormous LCD screen that features mermaids swimming gracefully, as if trying to lure you into a wonderful reverie. And what do I say? It definitely had a dreamy sortof effect to it. If The Venetian was about grandeur, The City of Dreams was about the use of modern technology to create an atmosphere of a breathing, living dream.

The highlight of our visit to the City of Dreams was a laser-light-show-plus-360-degrees -cinema about dragons and a forgotten civilization. It definitely made our day! I was able to take some pictures using Joseph’s trusty Lumix camera and I will share them with you soon!

For dinner, we decided to take the advice of the Turbojet-provided magazine and went to this food street which, according to the review, serves the best home-style Portuguese food. Galo did not disappoint and I was able to eat a lot of the fried rice, which tasted like paella with a little kick (prolly lemon, or something?). And then we hit jackpot. We saw this pasteleria that sells the best beef jerky and peanut brittle in the whole of Macau. Well that’s according to the newspaper report proudly mounted on the wall near the cashier. And I couldn’t agree more.

It started raining after we finished our food shopping (talk about perfect timing) and we hailed a cab back to The Venetian where we left our luggage, and proceeded to win (this time as a group, since the money came from our common fund) 100 HKD.

The boat trip back to HK was smooth and when we reached the hotel, all of us were just too happy to sleep. We ended up talking until 3 am in the morning, over beer and some chips.

Days 3 and 4

Disney. Disney. Disney. It felt good doing kid stuff again! He he he. The message shirt that I wore on our second day at Disney says, WE NEVER GIVE UP. It was good that we decided to get an annual pass and didn’t give up on our Disney dreams despite the inclement (whattan adjective!) weather because we would have missed having that kiddie sense of wonder as we watched The Golden Mickey’s, The Festival of the Lion King and experienced all things Disney. The trip was so packed, the memories would surely last us for a long, long time. Until the next trip comes along.

I kept on humming Return To Pooh Corner by Kenny Loggins onboard the Winnie the Pooh ride. HK made me happy. Well, we were all very happy, and this blog entry should serve as a reminder that I should aspire to be wise, by filling my life with happy days of frozen water and King Edward.

It's time to make your days happy :)

Return To Pooh Corner Reminds Me Of

2009-09-03T11:58:00.003+08:00

Fireflies, amazing friendships, a memorable moon. And I am filled with so much happiness. Thank God for good memories.

If I must say, please forgive me for the sloppy video. That's the best I can find :)

The Time Traveler’s Wife Gave Me An Afterglow

2009-08-31T22:52:00.001+08:00

I just saw the movie, The Time Traveler’s Wife and now I understand why it was such a hit in the US! Despite the fact that the surface-level theme deals with the extra natural (an invented term, ‘cause I don’t wanna classify it as super natural), the characters, their struggles and the usage of time as an essential element in the build up of the story work together to tell us lessons on living in the now, the importance of waiting on the essential things, and how accepting that things just happen can help us to have a deeper appreciation of the glimpses of heaven this life offers, and yes, extend the shelf life of our happy moments.

In this movie, which boldly dissects the anatomy of happiness, Rachel Mc Adams (Claire) and Eric Bana (Henry) prove that they are two of the more talented actors of their generation. A lot of scenes require such complex emotions and the two manage to always come up with the most appropriate facial expressions and there was not a single instance of under or over acting. Kudos to the director, Robert Schwentke of course!

I fell in love with Rachel Mc Adams in that last scene when she was running to meet up a time traveling Henry - four years after a significant event in their lives - and she was just able execute her bit in a manner that radiates hope in every movement, as she runs towards her happiness. Her face tells us that she knows it is fleeting but then again, she knows that it is worth the effort.

Watch it and feel that afterglow I am talking about.

The Interpreter - A Short Story

2009-08-17T21:42:00.003+08:00

"I cannot take it anymore. It's either I spill, or I go crazy..."

It's been three years since he devoted his whole like to becoming an interpreter. Not the usual, glamorous type who graces those beauty pageants. Unlike most interpreters, his work is sort of underground - as he is sworn to secrecy. You see, he's an interpreter for the mute people who want to go to confession.

He still vividly recalls that defining moment when he finally decided to give this sort of vocation a shot. After listening to a priest talk about how interpreters are much needed for this church beside an institution for the deaf and mute located somewhere in the filthy outskirts of Sta. Mesa, he felt a wave of interest washing over him. "This should be interesting," he said silently, a wicked grin lines his face as he pushes his mobile phone out of his pocket so he could input the contact details of the coordinator.

"Yes, I think I am more than qualified for this post. I have worked as a counselor, I studied in a Catholic school, served in a religious community and in our parish and have been studying sign language since college."

The head coordinator pored over the documents, which include a written recommendation from a Parish priest in Recto. He froze a bit when the sterner looking manang looked at the letter intently, studying the handwriting, the signature, the letter head. He almost jumped off his seat when she said: "ok, you're officially part of our pool of interpreters. You will be trained and should be able to assume the role after a month."

A month of grueling training passed. And finally:

Today is my first day as an interpreter for someone whom I will call Joy.

He proceeds to type with maniacal speed the filthy details of Joy's confession. As he writes on his blog, the glint in his eyes is luminous, like the eyes of a feline creature when light reflects on them.

To be continued...

Handog ng Pilipino sa Mundo - A Tribute to Former President Corazon Aquino

2009-08-04T13:09:00.005+08:00

When Corazon Aquino became the ultimate symbol of democracy to the Philippines and the rest of the world, I was about 7 years old. At that time, all I could care about was the issue on child trafficking. Of course I’m kidding. Seriously, I really didn’t know any better although I remember that I almost cried when I saw the Apo Hiking Society, Sampaguita, Jam Morales and the rest of the crew pulling a We-Are-The-World-sort-of-act and singing Handog ng Pilipino Sa Mundo. That song just moves me, even until now. When I heard it over the radio several days ago at Rapide, while Scarlett was having her tune up, I felt like someone was crushing one of the valves of my heart. But I am digressing.

I just thought it would be fitting that I write something about Former President Cory Aquino, or on the topic of her demise, since I wrote a tribute to Michael Jackson. And I figured that it would be totally disrespectful if I didn’t.

Before I continue on, can I just make a confession? I wasn’t exactly saddened by her death. There, I said it. You know why? Mainly because I sincerely believe that she had already achieved her mission in life. Cory had helped ensure that her husband’s ultimate sacrifice for his ideals wouldn’t go in vain by making a sacrifice of epic proportions herself, that is, agreeing to become the President of a quite unstable nation torn apart by years of tyranny.

During her term, the worst that I could remember would be that nasty rumor that she hid under a table when Malacanang was attacked or something. And that’s still perfectly acceptable in my book. Some may raise the issue that she shielded her family’s vast estate from the CARP but research would tell us that she Hacienta Luisita wasn’t exactly spared from it and profit sharing, instead of distributing the tubuhan was implemented, for logical reasons.

After she stepped down, she led a relatively quiet life, but made her presence felt during times of national distress, just like a mother standing up for her child.

I've always believed that some people are born to achieve great things, that God has pre-picked people who will inspire, unite and make us realize the goodness that abounds this planet. I think Cory Aquino is one of those people. And we can do great too, by trying to learn the lessons that her life and person can teach us.

May her soul rest in peace.

Yet Another Open Letter

2009-07-28T18:06:00.002+08:00

Dear P,

I really don’t know how to start this e-mail so I’ll just say - how have you been?

I just wanted to let you know that I still drink Chrysanthemum Tea. Yes, that one we used to buy at SM. And I still practice what you taught me to just wear one interesting item at any given time, in any occasion.

I have no interest in the occult anymore but I would always remember the times we spent at the Sunken Garden just talking about the moon, or the numerous picnics we had at the Lagoon.

Every now and then I would remember the stuff I did to you that made you feel bad but I try to block them off, focusing instead on the countless fun times we had. I don’t want to keep on blaming myself for what happened to us. Even if I still believe that we could have been that couple who would become the epitome of a perfectly balanced relationship, reality bites (sorry for the corny pun).

Comfortable Silence. We had that, among other things, which I don’t want to mention anymore because I am afraid I’d get carried away, again.

I was in UP two Sundays ago and I finally ran around the Acad Oval. After so many years of planning, I finally did it! I was able to run three rounds (I am always fond of three rounds, don't you think?) in less than an hour. Not bad for somebody who hasn’t worked out for more than eight months.

I wish I could share with your how the fireflies sanctuary in Malaysia made me see the world from a different perspective, or the efficient public transportation system of Singapore, or the unique beauty of Bekasi – or plan with you my next trips to Hongkong and Kota Kinabalu. But those would just make for small talk. What I’ve been meaning to tell you is the fact that I was still despicably in love with you when we met up that fateful day in October of 2007. Once and for all, I just want to set things straight. What happened, happened because even if I know that you want what you want, my views had dramatically changed over the past couple of years, for good measure I believe.

Can I also tell you that I like this girl a lot? She’s pretty and bubbly and has a cute smile. I’ve been praying lately that God will give us the opportunity to know each other better, and hopefully, end up liking each other enough. I want to get married in five years. Or else I’d stalk you until you give in and agree to marry me. Of course, I am kidding.

I am still not confident whether I could find somebody like you who can love me in ways that I still can’t fathom up until this day. You just made me feel so much love even if I felt like I didn’t deserve even a tiny ounce of it. Having said that, I am determined to pay it forward - in fact, I met someone whom I thought could be the recipient of the overflow of love in my heart. But as it turned out, she’s too young or too confused to handle things. But I was able to handle that heartbreak in a much better way, you’ll be proud of me. Of course, I know now that God is the only one capable of perfect love, but we can always try, right?

I am now driving an old family car and I named her Scarlett. I dunno, for some reason, I feel like driving her to Alabang some nights. Mainly because I want to see you and tell you that life is beautiful, that I’ve been praying for you, that I am wishing that when I finally hear from you or of you, the stories will be filled with all the good things that happened in between, from the time we talked about breaking up in front of the Main Lib, until that day when we see each other again.

Until then, I can only pray to God to always keep you safe from harm. As if on cue, my staff just started playing a song by Larusso. I suddenly remembered that you knew the lyrics of On Ne S’aimera Plus Jamais by heart.

Life Is Beautiful 2

2009-07-27T18:06:00.005+08:00

I attended the National Leaders' Training Conference Teambuilding Session over the weekend at Boso-Boso Highlands Resort in Antipolo. The rooms are substandard and the food is just okay but the view is magnificent. Below are some photos:

Swing swing, swing the spinning step...

Sunrise

Choose The Narrow Path

Clouds In My Head

Of loner coffee hits, iPod and my new E63

2009-07-26T23:21:00.004+08:00

This is quite an old entry. Had planned on posting this using my phone's internet but for some reason, I never got around to doing it. Either the signal would be weak or the text just wouldn't paste to blogger.

It'll be interesting to note that since I wrote this one, I've been to Tagaytay twice, transferred to a different company, and yeah, have seen a lot of movies. Well, maybe four or five. Please read on:

Because I wanted to take advantage of the fact that I was already in this part of Batangas called Tagaytay, I coerced two of my good buddies to meet up with me for dinner and a few beers.

Everything should've been fine had the summer outing arrangements, specifically for the video karaoke been better, meaning, the employees could use it until around 2 pm, but then it apparently fell through the cracks, as it was the case with the other stuff like disposable utensils, but I am digressing as always. Hence, I am forced into this situation wherein I have to kill three frickin' hours (I ended up killing four but Rina, another good friend of mine happened to be within the area and she became a life saver of some sort, because I would have died if I had to wait for five hours!) while waiting for my friends to pick me up (I will definitely demand a change in atmosphere, as the human traffic in Starbucks is quite heavy).

Moments like this allow me to fill my head with original ideas ranging from the best music to listen to to beat boredom to the internalization of the true meaning of breathing, pausing and regenerating.

While ordering my Caramel Macchiato, I absent mindedly said that I would like the cold variety and the defensive barista suddenly quipped, 'we call it iced' - and asked me if I'd be going for 'V-e-n-t-i, or the largest size' - which made me feel as if I looked like a clueless first timer. The clincher was his closing spiel: 'just show your receipt when your name is called,' delivered with that bored, high-end-shop-saleslady accent.

When I was younger and a lot more insecure, situations like this would have caused me some serious inis and made me do things to put him in his place. But then, I marveled at how I reacted. I just shook off his pretense and allowed him to go about his act of throwing some rehearsed American English Slang and proceeded to find a suitable area for my three-hour wait.

Armed with my iPod and Nokia E63 (which I am selling now because the office gave me an E71!), I decided to wait while sound tripping, blogging and people watching, all at the same time! He he he. And before I knew it, I had already spent two solid hours of getting carried away by Coldplay's melancholy, observing as people try to capture their memories in true Friendster (or FB) fashion, as my friend Lance puts it and of course, immortalizing this specific episode through words.

And I marvel at my capacity to kill time. In spite of the chaotic pace of my life right now, I am amazed by how I could find trivial things to do and wax poetic about something as mundane as drinking coffee, my iPod and my new phone, which has a Microsoft Office software in it!

I see friends playing cards and families bonding and I say to myself, all of these may be transitory, but they will matter especially if these moments inspire us to become better stewards of our lives.

Tribute to Jacko

2009-07-24T17:06:00.002+08:00

I am quite ambivalent on how to react with what Rupert Everett said about the late King of Pop. I mean, we all had something negative to say about Jacko when he was still alive so casting stones on Everett for being outrageously outspoken on what he really thought of the great Michael Jackson is a bit self righteous if you ask me. But then again, some would argue that the person’s dead and the least we could do is give him some respect. However, just to be a little philosophical about it: does Michael Jackson give a rat’s ass what people say about him now that he’s (hopefully) in heaven? I mean, the problem with us is that we tend to get caught up in the romanticism of some idealistic concepts that we do idiotic things in our sorry attempt to make us feel good about ourselves. I bet it would’ve been better if people shut their pie holes (or at least tried to be constructive) on Michael Jackson’s weird behavior or appearance when he was still alive and gave him some space and yeah, a little bit of respect.

I believe that’s how we show respect for others – while they are alive and can still feel the warmth and empathy that we are capable of extending.

And don’t even argue with me that celebrities are public property. It’s a farce we all chose to believe in to satisfy our voyeuristic tendencies.

***

Lately, I’ve been very gracious in handling compliments re: my work ethic, my looks and whatnots. Still, there are some days when I’d stare at myself and the man in the mirror doesn’t like me back. And I’d think, the lighting in this room is bad. He he he

***

Last night, I was talking to a good friend and within the course of the conversation; I mentioned that I actually miss having a girlfriend! I even quipped: nakakasawa na kasi maging single e (single life is getting boring). Even I was surprised where that remark came from! Well, I think now that ‘she’s’ totally out of my life, I am ready to find a girl I can call mine. Someone I can rock with as the days become months and months become seasons that will fill my life with earth’s songs. Ha ha ha pilit na pilit!

***

So there goes my little tribute to Michael Jackson. Thank you Jacko for all the beautiful songs I couldn’t sing on Karaoke. You keep me grounded.

Life Is Beautiful

2009-07-23T12:02:00.002+08:00

Oh My Gulay, Baguio City

Rockport Dive Resort, San Luis, Batangas

C-5 Buendia Fly Over

Punta De Fabian, Baras, Rizal

The Good Race

2009-07-19T10:38:00.005+08:00

I was able to run / walk a total of 6.6 kms. yesterday during the Lingkod Fun Run! Yayyy! Not bad for someone who had not exercised for the past 8 months or so.

I slept through the first 15 minutes of Harry Potter tuloy. he he he

Today is a fine day. Thank God for lazy Sundays.

Comfortable Bumming

2009-07-19T10:19:00.001+08:00

July 17, 2009
The Coffee Place
Antipolo City

Do you have friends whom you can comfortably bum with? I do.

I have a lot of friends who can just laze around in some coffee shop talking endlessly about so many little somethings – but for this particular post, I’d write about my friend Divine (since she's seated next to me as I type.hehehe).

She can be the most annoying person on earth especially to those who do not know her well (they’re lucky! he he) because of her faux Kris Aquino-accent but this girl is the perfect bumming buddy. Not because she’s a bum by definition but because she knows how to waste time in style, and with substance. She has a perfect understanding of the life truth that there’s unspeakable power in and it is a priceless gift spending time with friends, unmindful of the demands of everyday life, or the threat of eye luggage that gets heavier as the bumming hours extend up to the wee hours of the morning.

Divine: I remember Chico saying something like, if you enjoy wasting time, then it is not wasted at all!

Our friendship dates back to that time when we were both listless trying to figure things out for ourselves but for some reason, our addiction to comfort and bumming serve as the glue that binds the book of memories, both good, and not so good, chronicling a friendship that is well written – which gets more beautiful as it is re-read and retold, from the perspective of a bond that has yellowed like the pages of the book, becoming a classic, at least in the eyes of the main characters.

So I am writing this post as a way of thanking you my friend, for spending a few hours with me tonight, just bumming comfortably. Here’s to couches and coffee, amazing desserts and the prospect of discovering new coffee shops to add to our coffee table book of friendship.

Rainy Days

2009-07-16T19:43:00.003+08:00

Amazingly, rainy days don't bother me the way they used to back in my emo days. What I don't like about the rains nowadays would be its effect on the overall 'room' temp of my office, car and my bedroom. Even if I put the thermostat on a higher temp and put the fan on low, my spine tingles the way it does on a cold December morning. Some may argue that it's just old age but I still maintain that the degradation of the environment is causing these abnormal temperature fluctuations.

I woke up this morning with a slight fever and sore throat. AH1N1!?! Not quite. I blame it on the rain - because after a dose of paracetamol, I was okay. I was able to report for work, attend a training program, respond to some e-mails and make all these necessary phone calls.

I had an informal coaching session with my team last night and I was really glad that we were able to open up to one another and clearly define levels of involvement, at work and on a more personal level.

I seriously aspire to become somebody who'd be able to make a difference in the lives of these people and I pray that God will provide me with the grace to carry out this mission.

Everyday, I thank God for all the blessings that abound my existence. And if you're reading this post, I pray that you will find it in you to wholeheartedly believe that our lives were designed to be perfect, even in its imperfections.

Have a blessed night!

Mock Photoshoot with Rona Guevara

2009-07-14T17:46:00.004+08:00

My good friend, blogger and photographer Rona Guevara decided that I would be her subject when she had her creative streak last Sunday. Below are some of the photos. We are planning to have a major shoot very soon. But I have yet to finalize the concept that I want. he he he.

Location: Kimono Ken at Shangri-La Plaza

Disoriented (Or Disorientated, If I Were British - Thanks Willy!)

2009-06-24T20:49:00.003+08:00

I am a bit disoriented lately.

You see, in a space of two weeks, circumstances dramatically changed for me, but not unexpectedly, thankfully. Andaming -lly ng sentence na to. He he he

For one, i joined the Jollibee Group of Companies (I am now part of Red Ribbon!) last June 16, which obviously entailed a lot of adjustments, like a new office location - which forced me to eat my pride and borrow one of my kuya's old cars while waiting for the company car and yup, 'harness' my really rusty driving skills. My kuya's the best! He lent me the better looking, silver one and not the rickety, yellow box-type Lancer!

My new boss is everything I expected her to be. She's pleasant, competent and very collaborative. Much like the bosses in my old company.

My team is composed of four people (including me) and we are handling the HR requirements of the whole Luzon Store Operations (including Metro Manila!). Quite challenging, but I think we can hack it because my members are all very passionate and determined, based on my initial encounters with them. And since we're a matrix organization, I am also doing a lot of OD work as a supposed functional expert. Nyay.

I am quite thrilled with these new developments and so far, I feel that my decision to move out of my comfort zone is bearing fruit. Yes, it was really difficult to leave my mentors and the company that had given me a lot of opprotunities to grow. It was also difficult to turn down my bosses' offer to go back to Indonesia since my three readers know that while doing HR work over there got difficult at certain points, I fell in love with Bekasi!

But I did pray for this decision and my new job is the answer to a lot of things that I've been praying about since 2007. I do hope that I'd be able to adjust easily so I can serve my community, get a Master's and a girlfriend na din - ay finish my SOLD pala muna.

I hope I'd be able to write more in the coming days. But tonight, I'll sleep.

Have a good night, and I hope the storm wouldn't cause so much damage.

Van Gogh, The Movie

2009-06-10T10:30:00.005+08:00

Is Vincent Van Gogh a genius, or a nutcase who got lucky?

Precisely the question that lingers in my head hours after I saw the movie Van Gogh at the 14th French Film Festival.

A totally brave, 'picturesque' movie that has some editing problems (not sure if this comment is valid given my lack of extensive knowledge on Vincent Van Gogh or the French History), Van Gogh the movie presents a particularly depressing period when people were at a significant crossroad, with Vincent's unique style serving as a backdrop as art criticism, women empowerment, selfishness and whether 'crazy love' is possible are tackled in a manner that is both realistic and subtle.

Overall, the movie offers an interesting interplay of characters who sorrounded, but not quite penetrated Vincent's wall of paranoia and wretchedness, as he descends to madness. However, my only problem with the film is that it fails to make a bold declaration of Vincent's genius - with no single character who is sincerely and believably convinced that he / she is witnessing a significant part of art history unfold; for these characters are quick in dismissing Vincent as a crazy, abhorrent character during moments when they cannot fathom the fluidity of his state of mind.

Having said that, Van Gogh is a confounding movie that elicited the same reaction I had when I saw on the pages of a book the artist's most famous works - I was confused whether I like them or not but couldn't help but marvel at how crazy was tempered and converted into something that forces a reaction within you.

The 14th French Film Festival runs unti June 14, 2009 at the Shangri-la Mall. Admission is free. Photo courtesy of Google Image Search.

The UP Thai Canteen is Back!!!

2009-05-30T16:07:00.005+08:00

If you studied in UP Diliman between 1988 to 2006, chances are, you were crazy about the UP Thai Canteen. I know I was! I remember feeling really sad when I visited UPD and found out that the canteen had been demolished!

So can you imagine how excited I got when I found out that the UP Thai Canteen has resurfaced? Yes, I feel really stupid to have not noticed that a bigger and need I say, plush Thai Canteen was resurrected by the same charming old lady in one of my usual hang outs - Ortigas Home Depot! It now carries a new name: Khao Pad (with the declaration: Formerly UP Thai Canteen painted on its glass wall fronting the street!)

I went to Khao Pad on the same day that I learned of its 'resurrection'. With my good friend Rona in tow, we went to OHD even if the weather demanded a stay in and a North Park delivery. Khao Pad is located on the first row of establishments if you're coming from C-5, right beside a convenience store called Snacks In The City. OHD, is for those not familiar with the place is along Julia Vargas Ave. (yes, the street, or should I say, avenue, that separates Mega A and B!he he he)

Side note: Upon seeing Mommy Thai I blurted out: I used to eat at the UP Thai Canteen, I am so glad you're back!!!

I ordered the Mixed Vegetables, Seafood and Meat (I ordered rice of course - no rice toppings anymore, sigh) and Rona had Pad Thai. We shared a large bowl of Tom Yum and what have we got? Our tummies were too full and satisfied we miraculously didn't call for a night cap!

We left Khao Pad with me assuring Mommy Thai that I would tell all the UP people I know about her bagong lumang business venture.

When I got home I had such a huge smile on my lips, happy with idea that it is possible to regain what you thought you'd lost forever, and having it come back to you in a bigger, better way! Pagpapakalalim aside, I am just way too happy with the idea that I can just go to OHD when I want to eat good and cheap Thai food. He he he

Side note: Admittedly, the jologs in me had a little difficulty trying to re-connect because the second floor looks really nice, and I loved how if felt to be eating good, cheap Thai food in a cramped space (I am talking about the one in Balara). I hate to say this but I won't be going to Soms anymore. Iba ang may history! He he he.

This is not to say that non-UP alumni cannot enjoy what Khao Pad offers. To those of you who love Thai Food, this is the no-shit, cheaper version. Kain na!

Digression: Btw, there's an Indonesian Food Festival happening until June 7 in some hotel within Manila. If anyone wants to join me, just let me know so I can find out about the other details. I'd love to experience eating Indonesian food with you guys!

I Have A New Krush!

2009-05-28T11:14:00.012+08:00

The Banana Strawberry Yoghurt Drink...is LOVE! Too bad my affair with this sweet, creamy concoction is bound to end soon as I join my new company on the 16th of June. Di na puwede kumain sa kalaban, lalo na ng mother company! He he he

In the meantime, I shall indulge while I can.

And I will definitely have to say goodbye to:

And WHAM, and Charlie's (I am trying this one out on Tuesday next week with the usual suspects) and All The Other Burger and Fast Food Chains I've Loved Before.

Sometimes, we have to make sacrifices, major ones, in order for us to fully embrace changes and live out the major life decisions that we make. On a shallow note, but these are quite huge deals for me, I had to give up C2 when I joined San Miguel. Then Lay's and Oishi and Eaji when I joined URC.

I believe brand loyalty helps build character. The basic foundation - which points to the cognizance of another entity's contribution to how you are able to carry out your life plans, or subsist, at the very least - serves as a compass that leads to a path lined with successes, and various intangible things that promote a sense of well being. In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell provides some explanation and examples to prove that success is never attributable to individual excellence. But I am digressing.

Again on the topic of brand loyalty, I have observed that once it is deeply ingrained, brand loyalty forges a deeper appreciation of a more complex concept, that is, the act of patronizing your company's products doesn’t stop at helping the company stay afloat amidst tough competition, but it also aids in defining a set of principles by which you live your life. Yes, I am talking about your non-negotiables. This will definitely come in handy once you need to make life-altering decisions such as a choice of life partner, vocation or an institution that you want to serve.

This leads me to regurgitate a previous topic I tackled in this blog via a movie review of Apocalypto, which is the preservation of our core. In the face of globalization, mutated viruses and the myriad of choices that are forced on us on a day-to-day basis, we'd simply go nuts if we do not have a clear set of guiding principles. So define and preserve, so that when life throws you some curve balls, you know how to dodge, or even catch them.

Photos from http://sweetdreams-eighteen.blogspot.com; www.foodtrippings.com and www.ourawesomeplanet.com

It's Closing Time

2009-05-26T12:45:00.008+08:00

I am glad I am free from your snare
You, with the sob stories and the empty promises

You, who lured me into your world with your confusion,
Blinding me with your misery

Naiveté is painted on your face, betraying the darkness within

You so artfully worked with the little that you’ve got
And I was mesmerized.

But now I know that you're not a prodigy
Now I know that you're just a worthless liar

Stay away from me, you who conveniently forgets anything you don't want to recall.

Needless to say, drop the act. Shut the eff up.

Show's over.

Please don't force me to make this ugly.
Just stop forcing me to make this whole thing uglier that it already is.

It's closing time.

And So The Story Goes And Why We Should Not Go To Sleep To Dream

2009-05-21T10:53:00.005+08:00

A story, or an event, especially when it involves two people, will have, at the very least, two versions. You and the other party, granted that the unfolding requires retelling, will then recreate from memory how everything added up, recollecting differing climaxes that led towards denouement, oftentimes bereft of objectivity, or at the very least, the desire to really come up with a final resolution.

As the two of you go on sharing to people your versions of the story, layers upon layers get added to the half-original autobiographical fiction that is your specific, shared life event, and people would analyze and empathize hugely depending on their level of intelligence, life experiences, or sense of involvement – a hopeless exercise that spawns a third, fourth and still incomplete versions.

And so the story gets retold in so many different ways, the actual feelings involved betrayed by the limited vocabulary, the real essence vanishing as the story gets twisted to suit one’s set of prejudgments.

A good friend shared with me a quote that goes a little something like this: sometimes, people believe they are already thinking when the truth is, they’re simply busy rearranging their preconceived notions. Whoever gave birth to this precious nugget of wisdom should be canonized. And so the story goes.

I know I have said enough. As a fitting ending, an epiphany: I shouldn’t have gone to sleep to dream in the first place.

I didn’t want to be overly vague and risk the possibility of you not being able to comprehend that this post is for you so, I just got to say it: THIS POST IS FOR YOU. You, whose silence broke my heart and allowed me to see things from a more rational perspective, you should know who you are.

Once again, your contribution to my journey had been immortalized not because I wanted to explain myself, but because I wanted to be always reminded. I am a gazillion times better than how you made me feel.

I do hope you’ll learn that you cannot live your life without dealing with the consequences of your actions. And yes, I want to tell you that I know you so well. Just when I thought you were special and different, the fact that you’re just like them whom I used to know, gets highlighted by your cunning ways. Your actions betray the ‘image’ you’ve so carefully managed to create in my head, and your power over me works no more.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my friends who listened, risked incarceration to the pages of this blog by telling me to my face that I was an epic failure with this one, and I pray that those who prayed that I get over this easily will be shielded from the same fate, especially if it would leave wounds that just wouldn’t heal. I know am in such a sorry state of affairs but I’ll get over it soon. I've God and my friends to back me up.

The NBI Experience

2009-05-14T10:14:00.000+08:00

How many times have you been to NBI to get yourself cleared? If I remember it correctly, I've gone there about 4 times already. Thrice for a new employment opportunity and the other time was when I had to get my passport.

I always make it a point to visit the head office in Carriedo, and I always end up feeling pleased after going through the whole process. It's quite efficient and the fact that they exerted effort in making the office complex habitable (read: they have fully functioning AC units in all floors)makes me feel that there's hope for our country.

You see, when I was younger, I'd always hear my older siblings' and cousins' complain about the kind of hell they had to go through to get an NBI clearance. So when I finally had to do it myself, I was prepared for the worst. Oh well, the first time was kindof worst because I had to clear myself first from the DOST office in Parañaque since I didn't bother to advise the office that I wouldn't avail of the Science-Course-Scholarship-Grant that they were offering me before entering college. And so DOST listed me as someone with a government obligation! Horrible!

But yeah, I am digressing again. You see, getting yourself cleared only takes about 30 minutes on the average, and if you're lucky to have been bestowed with a name so unique (which, again, is not the case on my part since all the boys in the family share a first name, thanks to my father, bless his soul)you can walk out of the Carriedo office with an NBI Clearance in less than an hour! Now how refreshing is that for a government office transaction?

Just remember, you do not need a cedula (residence certificate) to get an NBI Clearance. And remember to keep the old one so they will have reference. Better yet, get the new NBI ID which you can get for less than 200 bucks. At least you wouldn't have the namesake problem among others, and the renewal process would be much easier!

Which is what I am doing tomorrow morning. As I visit the SSS, Philhealth, BIR and Pag-Ibig Offices in the next few days to get my IDs, I wish that they will offer the same NBI experience.

Side note: A friend told me that if you have your old clearance, you can just go to Megamall or to your local NBI offices to get it renewed. However, I am not sure if you can get it immediately. At any rate, it wouldn't hurt to get a glimpse of the majestic Quiapo Church and have the traditional Ma Mon Luk mami. And Lacson Underpass has such a unique character. So I still say, go to Carriedo.

Susan Boyle

2009-05-10T18:31:00.002+08:00

Watch the YouTube video of Susan Boyle and be blessed. She's not only a very good singer, but a good reminder for all of in this day and age obsessed with the superficial. Below is the link:

http:www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Happy Mother's Day to you, or / and your moms!

The Sunlight Within And What Happens In A Bag Of Nips

2009-05-09T15:53:00.015+08:00

I haven’t eaten anything since 10 pm yesterday. Well, I had a few almond cookies courtesy of my officemate (she’s not here since I am the only working on a weekend, but she gave word that I could just get some if I wanted to) but I am amazed by the absence of physical hunger. Maybe because I am busy thinking about a bazillion other things. Or I just might have made a very important discovery, that is, almond cookies are great as pantawid-gutom (read: survival food). Move over Sky Flakes.

I haven’t been blogging because my current pre-occupations require a certain level of confidentiality, but I do hope that as I reach the tail end of this process that will enable me to have a new beginning of some sort, or a new life, to go even further; I would find the time to write more frequently.

The other day I was ranting about being in this nightmare called the-worst-summer-in-five-frickin’-years and I was quick to realize that it only takes a paradigm shift (as it is the case with most things) to find happiness in my situation, which I used to label as a cross between dreadful and despicable. My current role at work requires that I act like a grown up and this meant spending my weekends, or long weekends for that matter organizing events and making sure that people would have an enjoyable summer getaway. At the end of each event, while my bodily systems (my skeletal, muscular and nervous systems specifically, to be extremely geeky about it) would complain from all the land travel and dizzying coordination they had to make, the fact that they were able to efficiently work together in enabling me to do things that are beyond the usual, gives that sense of profound movement, which, you would have guessed by now, is a term I had invented using at least two words to describe growth.

As if Mother Nature was empathizing with me, rainstorms had been frequent the past couple of weeks and while it did give me some perverse pleasure, I still felt like I was being robbed of my summer – and believe me, summer is always holy for me – so I prayed for the sun to come up and re-assert its power. And thankfully it did show up today. Providing hope, just like that rainbow that lined up the sky yesterday on my way to work, that there’s always sunlight within, and some colors to make our days a little more interesting.

Photo courtesy of www.fotosearch.com

Playing By The Rules

2009-05-08T20:27:00.004+08:00

Because I had the discipline to follow the rules of the game, I am free from unnecessary worries. The inherent goodness of people and its fruits truly inspire the soul, and reinforces the fact that as long as you act in good faith, the rewards would be fulfilling in every aspect, be it spiritual or practical.

My First Paid Writing Gig!

2009-04-07T10:49:00.005+08:00

This article originally appeared in the March issue of Kaunlaran, the official newsletter of San Miguel Corporation. All rights reserved.

Living in the Future Perfect Tense
Practical Tools and Tips for Making the Most Out Of Your Time

By John Calica

As working professionals today, we need to go the extra mile and make the most of our time if we are to achieve desired results and add value to our jobs. Indeed, as if all the rage about achieving work-life balance is not enough, we are now facing a global economic crisis that demands, among so many other things, leaner and leaner manning complements and even more optimized communication channels. In short, we are expected to be able to do more in the least or shortest time possible.

Most of us play different roles in our lives—as father, mother, brother, sister, boss, subordinate, and friend, to name just a few—and the very act of enumerating these roles could very well trigger a bout of neurosis. Modern life, it seems, has the endless capacity to impose stressful situations on us, thus diminishing the quality of our individual existence.

But it really isn’t the intention of this piece to start some sort of existentialist rant fest among us in the organization. All it wants is to encourage you to ask yourself this question: “Am I able to do the things I like such that I am able to achieve a high level of subjective well-being?”

By this time, you probably would have already ruminated about the many things you have failed to do because you thought you didn’t have enough time, then have also started wondering: “What can I do?”

So here, for starters, are some practical tips for managing your time that should allow you, as that vitamin commercial goes, “to get more out of life.”

Life can be future perfect

In his book English Plain and Simple: No Nonsense Ways to Learn Today’s Global Language, Jose A. Carillo describes the future perfect tense as a conceptual framework for projecting still unrealized future events and outcomes as already done things. The future perfect, he explains, always refers to a completed action in the future.

To get a better sense of this, imagine yourself to have traveled in time and are now looking back at actions or events that will be completed after the present time, which has now become the past. Still another way of looking at the future perfect is to think of it as the present tense but from the viewpoint not of the present but of the future instead. Typical examples of statements in the future perfect are the following sentences: (1) “The plane will have taken off when you arrive.” (2) “The diplomat’s daughter will have traveled to all the European countries by the time she graduates from grade school.”

Before you start thinking that you are now reading a primer in grammar, I will now go to my real purpose in explaining the future perfect tense: I want to show how you and I can live our respective lives in the future perfect tense.

Stephen Covey, in his widely popular book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, says that to be effective in any task, one has to begin with the end in mind. Another way of saying this is that by ”living” in the future perfect tense, you will be better able to identify the different tasks or events that will lead you to the attainment of your goal.

Because we don’t bother to clearly plot our activities, however, many of us tend to get confused and end up achieving little. Now, as a practical tip for changing this state of affairs, try doing this: When you get to the office, or when you are about to start a project, prepare a checklist of all the things you need to finish for the day based on your timelines. Then classify the tasks further as either “urgent” or “important”—the difference being that the important tasks are the ones that will directly help you in achieving your ”goals.”

When you apply the common structure of the future perfect tense to your tasks, your task list should look like this:

I will have…
- finished my presentation
- sought approval for a proposal
- paid my bills
- met up with a friend for coffee
before the day / week ends.

If you do this, you can avoid getting caught up in addressing a lot of urgent but unimportant things, giving you a false sense of accomplishment and making you lose sight of your real goal. Remember, managing your time is all about being able to deliver what is expected of you in relation to a timeline and to your own set of personal and professional priorities. In this multitasking world of ours, of course, we need to answer for so many things, but if we are clear with what we are supposed to strike out from our to-do list, we will always end each day feeling psyched up to flow to the next. As they say, a quick win is a great fuel to pump enthusiasm into your system.

A practical appplication

Still applying the concept of living in the future perfect tense, we can follow this simple rule: Break down each day into ‘bite-size’ portions, such that we don’t get overwhelmed by the immensity of our tasks, particularly when we need to make a big presentation or participate in a much-anticipated social event. A logical way to break down our day, for instance, could be: waking time, travel time, pre-lunch, post-lunch, crunch time, and so on. This way, our day-to-day schedule could very well look like this:

Chart…Gantt Chart

Everyone’s best online buddy, the Wikipedia, describes the Gantt chart as a type of bar chart that illustrates a project schedule. Gantt charts illustrate the start and finish dates of the terminal elements and summary elements of a project. They are an effective tool for you to have a firm grasp of what tasks overlap and what can be done at a later date so you can focus on them. Indeed, any job that requires management of several projects can benefit greatly from the use of the Gantt Chart.

If you are not yet acquainted with Microsoft Project, you can make a manual Gantt Chart by using Microsoft Excel. By doing this, you can get a bird’s-eye view of all activities that need to be finished, thus allowing you to strategize better and achieve synchronicity. Because the Gantt Chart also shows the relationships between activities, using this tool also allows you to plot progress and anticipate possible stumbling blocks.

Do away with the expression “I don’t have time”

H. Jackson Brown, Jr., the author of the widely popular Life’s Little Instruction Book, has this to say to those who feel like they don’t have enough time to finish what needs to be done: "Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."

Enough said therefore about not having enough time.

Be techie-savvy

Technological advancements and minor improvements here and there to our transportation system have definitely helped us become better time managers. With the increasing popularity of the MRT and the LRT, in particular, we can now travel the long stretch of EDSA and other congested areas in Manila in just 30 minutes or less, so we can make it to our appointments on time. In addition, text messaging and alarms in our mobile phones help us manage not just our time but other people’s expectations as well.

Still, I know a lot of people who often have to struggle in managing their time because they have become slaves of the minor comforts of life. A case in point: the deadly snooze. Yes, we can all cover our faces in shame, for at one time or another, we have all been guilty of turning off that alarm-clock button so we could get 10 more minutes of sleep. After all, the snooze is a good friend to most of us, especially to those among us who ”need” time to ”get a hold of ourselves” (read: magmuni-muni muna) before we can declare ourselves fully awake—especially on a chilly Monday morning!

Rather than getting victimized by modern technology, though, why don’t we take advantage instead of what it has to offer so we can enhance our individual efficiencies? Nowadays, for instance, there are mobile phones that double up as personal organizers, letting us input meeting schedules and reminding us of important tasks. The best thing about these phones is that they come with discreet but persistent alarms. We can go about our work-a-day even without a personal assistant, for our phone can automatically remind us that it’s time to start preparing for a presentation or to buy a loved-one a special gift.

As to handling correspondence, most e-mail systems today—like Lotus Notes and Microsoft Outlook—have special features that allow you to organize your mail and flag those that are important or need to be followed-up. They come with a built in calendar as well, so you can more efficiently make your schedule.

One other way to manage your time wisely, of course, is to check and respond to your e-mails real quick. You never know what last-minute updates your partners might have for a project, or when you might need to greet a friend celebrating his or her birthday. (Many online networking sites have a feature that notifies you if a friend within your personal network is celebrating his or her birthday.)

Also, if you get simple queries that you can respond to quickly, do it right off! And don’t forget to check back on those archived items that form part of your to-do list.

Do what you love doing

When all is said and done, you still need something to pump the adrenaline and make you work like a well-oiled machine. The key here is to find a daily motivator for yourself. It could be as simple as watching your favorite show on TV or trying out the latest dish in the hottest restaurants in town. In my own experience, at least, there’s nothing like having a long overdue dinner with friends or going on a movie date with ”that officemate.”

Whatever it is, you need to inject into your day certain activities that can inspire you and make you go about your tasks with enthusiasm, for there’s nothing like a motivated worker to get the job done and done well.

To do things consistently well, though, we need to better managers of our time—for time can be our trusty ally once we learn how to make the best use of it.

Yes! That would be me, modeling for my article as well.

Of Lenten Specials and Reflections

2009-04-03T12:18:00.002+08:00

On my way to work a couple of days ago, I saw a Victoria Court ad highlighting their Lenten Specials and got seriously disturbed. I mean, how about not allowing un-married couples within the premises for 40 days? I know, I know I have a history of visiting places like Victoria Court but I am entitled to my opinion especially now that I am better informed of my options, right?

Admittedly though, the ad got me thinking about the many times I brandished my Christianity like a set of newly-polished sword and shield while committing sins involving pride, hatred and others. I was like a motel’s Lenten special. A phony baloney at times.

Now over at SLEX, Tokyo Tokyo came out with a really witty ad for their Lenten treats. The words saved from guilt are printed in big bold letters alongside a fish and rice meal and while the content is debatable in terms of its political correctness, it struck me in terms of the way I deal with sin.

Being the fun loving, adventurous and spoiled person that I am, I have gotten used to testing, within reasonable bounds of course, the limits of most things such that I sometimes end up committing sins because I had exposed myself to the temptations of consumerism, lust, envy and sloth – deadly, deadly sins I must say.

Oftentimes, I tend to feel that something is harmless and controllable until I am pushed into further rationalization that causes me to unwittingly fall into the well of sins and easy breezy comfortable existence.

Hence, I resolve to exert serious efforts to save myself from guilt by consciously choosing to avoid situations that cause me to sin. I know it won’t be easy, but our life as Christians isn’t meant to be anyway, as we are called to follow The Way of the Cross.

Speaking of The Way of The Cross (haha pilit na segue), Ang Ligaya ng Panginoon will be having its annual Lenten Triduum @ the Ateneo grounds, with the theme, No Greater Love. The Lord is waiting for you. See you there!

April 9, Maundy Thursday - Evening Mass of the Lord's Supper, 8:00-9:30 PM, Ateneo College Covered Courts
April 10, Good Friday - Commemoration of the Lord's Passion, 1:00-5:30 PM, Henry Lee Irwin Theater
April 11, Black Saturday - Easter Vigil, 6:30-8:45 PM, Ateneo College Covered Courts

And I'm Back In The Game!

2009-03-30T10:43:00.001+08:00

Since I am not very good at handling negative emotions, I’d resort to my favorite therapy and that would be writing in murky terms, such that even when the sediments have settled down, you’d still feel that the water is unclear.

After three dinner-outs last week, which left me with a depleted revolving fund and a pocketful of resolutions, I just realized that the diabetes called change had successfully devoured major organs of my old self, and despite the non-physicality of the pain of flesh decaying and the sudden flash of imagined, but still abhorrent images of multi-colored flies performing rituals to ensure the propagation of their useless species, I still feel like I am on my way towards a major system failure.

I blame Sheri Reynolds and the viciousness of her words and imagery – which are alternately disturbing and cathartic. I blame epiphanies and my mental faculty to design the grandest life plans. I blame the memories that wouldn’t go away as well as the everyday realities that are not helping me becoming extremely clearheaded in my approach, or at least become that person who’d be able to carefully dodge life’s curve balls. I blame all of these things for an extremely rotten mood I am experiencing right now.

I know that I am not supposed to have this blaming attitude at the start of the week, nor am I supposed to be writing stuff like this, especially after delivering a lengthy and hopefully inspiring speech on becoming a better version of ourselves - over a hearty dinner of Caesar Salad, Carbonara with Schublig Sausage, Potato Wedges and the bestselling Black Forest Freddoccino at Mocha Blends Valley Fair, where I bumped into Luisa, who is now becoming a regular-bumpee-in-a-coffee-shop-college-friend, which is always a happy instance, I must say – so please forgive me my good friend Divine. You and I both know the things that were said last night are universal truths, and we should cherish the pregnant pauses as we journey towards manning and womanning up, right? Right!

It’s been two months and I while I had tried to update this blog and chronicle the good and the not-so-good things that happened since I came back from Indonesia, there would always be some minor technical eff up that left me post-less, and needless to say, that made me (make that makes me) unhappy. Because despite the absence of superior talent, writing has become my opium (as ultimate Frisbee is to my friend Jay, who lent me the idea to use the word opium to describe anything that is seriously addicting, yet life giving).

Anyway, I wouldn’t want to end this post without sharing with you the good stuff. I have an article coming out (with my picture in it!) in San Miguel’s newsletter called Kaunlaran (I promise to share with you the article as soon as the printed material gets released) and my review of Kultura’s production of The Glass Menagerie, which appeared in this blog a few months ago, got published in Universitas, UA & P’s official newsletter (which makes me want to go, kainin mo ang puso mo palabas, Ginoo! Wehehehe)

I am not privileged though to write about the not-so-good stuff but hey, someone’s gotta do what he has to do. Go figure.

On a related note, I should start looking at some graduate school programs as I am reminded by a friend just a few moments ago of my UN aspirations. Thanks Mike for the reminder, and for buying me two pairs of Chucks (I’ll see you in May so I can pay up!).

Lucky

2009-01-19T23:38:00.005+08:00

I did prepare more than enough cash to pay for my excess baggage but somehow, the check-in-counter-angel was at work.

Can you believe it, I got through without 'em making me pay for excess baggage. Now how ultra cool is that?

The only kind of bad thing is the fact that I have a surplus of less than a million rupiah. I hope our HR Director will let me play money changer. Hmmm. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Jakarta Airport just keeps on surprising me. Apart from the ultra cool shops (a Lacoste Essentials 125 ml. only costs $54!) and lounges (which I didn't get to experience this time around in the absence of a companion who holds the platinum card to the VIP), it boasts of several internet booths with decent connectivity.

Now a lot of people who haven't gone to Indonesia have such a negative impression of the country and its people. I wouldn't deny that there was a bit of uneasiness on my part the first few days that I was here but boy, a third world-er like me need not complain! Indonesia did not disappoint (now if only I was able to find a good Italian resto then it would have been perfect!) in any way. I mean they don't have trains and the buses are a bit decrepit but if there's one thing Indonesia taught me, it's to not compare countries. You have to appreciate a nation and its wonderful people for what they are.

Ok, so before I get so carried away, let me end this post with a big shoutout to the staff of PT URC Indonesia, Horison Bekasi Hotel and all the Factory Outlet people. I hope to be back, and hit the beaches of Bali, and meditate at the temples of Borobudur.

One hour before boarding, and I am really psyched! I feel so lucky to be here.

Home - Bekasi Diaries, The End (At Least For Now)

2009-01-19T17:14:00.004+08:00

As I end my stint here in PT URC Indonesia, I carry with me learnings I wouldn't have gotten any other way. Apart from sharpening my technical know-how, the stint boosted my confidence and with God on my side, I shall take on the next challenges and emerge victorious.

In the meantime, I am really excited to go home. So many things to do, new things to discover, people to meet and hopefully, home will remain a steady ground as I tread new roads, and blaze trails.

Hopefully, I will be gifted with some more opportunities to travel out of the country in the coming months.

Until next time, Bekasi. You have been good, make that very good to me. And in the absence of a more fitting phrase, I dare say, you'll be in my heart.

A Social Experiment

2009-01-19T10:47:00.007+08:00

A friend forwarded this e-mail to me, which sort of reinforced a belief I’ve always held dear: that we should never limit ourselves to what the so-called ‘experts’ say about what to listen to, what to watch and what’s ‘good.’ It could always serve as a guide but we should never succumb to the snobbery or fall into the trap of faux appreciation that so-called art connoisseurs could impose upon us. Art is the soul’s language and if anything gives you a profound appreciation of the talent and the beauty that God bestowed upon His people, then it should be a work of art.

And of course, we should never forget to breathe, pause, regenerate.

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that about a thousand of people have gone through the station, most of them on their way to work. Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed down his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to his destination. A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till without stopping. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, despite being dragged the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on. Within the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars. Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats averaged at $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing out on?

Christmas Dinner with the Hekkers

2009-01-15T12:29:00.012+08:00

Since I wanted to spend more time with the family during my short break in the Philippines, and NEEDED to go Manaoag to pay my respects, I only got the chance to meet up with my Hekkers after the New Year. Below are some pictures from that night. I remembered talking to Lorrie when we had our New Year Dinner last year and we were waxing poetically about 2007, which got us real psyched with what 2008 would bring. Much to our delight, 2008 brought with it sunshine, clouds and a few storms but as an old Beatles song goes, we got by with a little help from our friends (booze and coffee helped a lot, too!).

A nightcap at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (you should try their Moroccan Mint Tea Latte and Guiltless Chocololate Delight) after a dinner of Gising-gising and Crispy Tilapia - my personal favorites, and other Pinoy goodies at Recipes, where I also saw my friend JT, who was having her Depedida naman 'cos she's leaving for the US. I was in full OFW-mode even if my Indo stint is just a special assignment! he he he. Too bad Andrea and Kenny did not make it due to prevous engagements. Speaking of engagements, two couples within the group got engaged this year!

At the start of the year, I remember writing down on my journal (yes, somebody gifted me with a Starbucks-Indonesia Journal and I got inspired. Must be all the artsy fartsy designs and the three words printed on the first page: begin.grow.flow, but I am digressing) that despite the possible impact of the global economic recession and other big changes bound to happen this year, I resolve to make 2009 my year.

And I do hope it'll be your year as well.

Here's to a 2009 filled with all the good things this life can offer!

Baguio Adventure In Pictures: Day 1

2009-01-14T15:07:00.003+08:00

End of Day 1

Baguio Adventure 1

2008-12-28T16:39:00.004+08:00

I am currently here in an internet cafe near Session Road trying to download phone numbers of some Baguio hotels.

Must.have.listened.to.the.news.advisory.

Darn!

Postscript: Prayers really work as I got us a hotel room after tada! just dialing two phone numbers. Isn't it great?

Bekasi Diaries 25: My Grown Up Christmas List

2008-12-22T11:37:00.003+08:00

I uploaded the lyrics and a video of My Grown Up Christmas List, my favorite Christmas song. I couldn't download the YouTube video featuring Michael Buble so I just had to make do with what lyrics.com had to offer.

Anyway, enjoy! And Merry Christmas!

Bekasi Diaries 24: Breathe, Pause, Regenerate.

2008-12-22T09:36:00.006+08:00

21.12.2008

I knew Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium would be on at Star World at 7 but I decided not to watch it because I have so many things on my plate right now. I have CVs to review, presentation materials to prepare and turnover materials to complete before I go back to Manila on the 25th.

However my laptop was acting up on me and required a disk check or something so I decided to have my dinner first. While having my dinner of CPK’s Chicken Waldorf Salad from last night’s takeout and Hiroshima Crepe (Nutella, Banana and Cheese. Yum!), I turned on the tube just in time to catch an extremely powerful scene between Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman where Mr. Magorium tells Mahoney, after she quipped, “Ok let’s wait,” that they should not wait: they should breathe, pause and regenerate.

Most people I know are not very good at waiting. I consider myself extremely patient but I too experience meltdowns when made to wait senselessly. But then I figured, why do we hate waiting so much?

The prevailing culture of our time is defined by instant everything: fast food, information at our fingertips, the preference for more efficient transportation system to get us from point a to point b in the quickest time possible, and a bazillion other things that have made us too busy to notice that we have become people who want instant gratification.

Hence, we see people engaging in backstabbing to get ahead in the rat race. We witness personal and global disasters because a crucial step in a process had been deliberately missed. And we wonder why modern life has become thanklessly stressful.

There was an e-mail that circulated years ago about the slowdown culture being practiced in Sweden. They are promoting the concept of slow food, and all other things that sound like Elysium to me. After reading it, I remembered that I heaved a sigh of longing but went back immediately to what I was doing because I needed to finish the task at hand.

As Christians, we are called to glorify God through the work that we do and naturally, the ‘glorification’ process is reduced to concepts that we can grasp given our limited experiences. These concepts build a belief system that becomes the framework by which we operate our lives, and we start functioning like well-oiled machines because of this blueprint.

However, I believe that we should not be operating in such a limited capacity that we forget to breathe, pause and regenerate.

Personally, I have a lot of goals that all seem too daunting for me to accomplish, given my timeline. Let me give you a sneak peek. In one of my posts I listed down the qualities that I am looking for in a woman. A woman I hope to marry by the time I am 33 or 35, at the latest. I am still not sure whether I would want to have kids but God will take care of that – I have handed over the decision making card for this one critical item to Him. I want to go to New York by the time I am 30 and watch a Broadway Musical (or some musicals, even those that are off-Broadway). I want to eventually work for the United Nations. I want to study abroad in about two or three years time and I hope to transfer to a multinational company when the time is right. Of course I will have to be able to get my driver’s license by early 2009 and I wish to get confirmed as an HR Manager mid of next year. Oh, and I want to go to Skopeloes, Greece, backpack all over Europe and spend my honeymoon at the Maldives.

But still, despite the ginormity of my life goals, I wholeheartedly believe that these will all come true, in God’s time. I have been a witness to the sort of expertise He has on sorting out my life and giving me what I want and what I need just in time, even if I've already forgotten about it.

Let me tell you a short story.

After graduating from college, I knew that it would be tough for me to find an HR job, given that I have totally crossed out the BPO industry off my options for a very personal, yet silly reason: I never wanted to cross paths with an ex and her beau at that time.

One fine day, while bumming at home, I got a call on my mobile. It was my brother and he told me that he got me an interview for this IT company where his friend works as a Sales Director. The vacant position is in Marketing soI figured that I could use my ‘psychological abilities’ in persuading people to buy the product. I went to Makati to take the exam and attend all the interviews. It was unbelievable! Several days after officially completing my units in the university, I was in a mall with my sister shopping for some corporate clothes.

On my first day at work I was really psyched. And I guess the excitement translated to something positive such that I went on to get promoted as Account Manager after six months. Six months later, I found myself filing my resignation, after exceeding my quotas for two quarters, for an HR job in the number one company in the country: San Miguel Corporation.

Working in San Miguel was very enriching because it is where I met a lot of wonderful people who had such a positive impact on my life - that I have become more alive than ever. In San Miguel I have met people who taught me how to be stronger, to always try to go the extra mile, to be sincere and to renew my relationship with God.

Despite the fact that I was employed in San Miguel, a friend of mine was really surprised at how unhurried my life-pace looked like and I told him off by saying that I wasn’t in a rush to get somewhere or wherever it is that others are so dying to go to.

In hindsight, I realized that that short conversation was like a bucket of cold water to my face on a really chilly Sunday morning. After all my attempt at profundity, I felt like I was doing myself disservice by not pushing myself to a reasonable limit and try to do more with my life.

So I started becoming more active in doing community work. I started to date a bit. I went out with my friends regularly. I’d work on weekends to finish my deliverables. I started blogging more to hone my writing skills. I have re-acquainted myself with reading and all those other stuff that I kind of missed out on because I was trying to be too cool to care. And you know what happened? My life started changing dramatically! I got so stressed I felt like I wasn’t able to do enough hence I’d go bipolar sometimes and have trench-deep dips in my moods. It even came to a point where going to a party felt like a chore.

However, over the course of my community life, I have uncovered a big old secret: I should learn to trust the Lord more and not lean on my mortal abilities if I want to make my dreams come true and be able live a good life!

And now, I am happy to share that I have crossed out some ‘critical’ items on my things-to-do-before-I-die list and am a few paces closer to achieving some career and personal goals. I am far from perfecting the art of living well but one thing’s for sure - while I know I’d still find myself caught up in the entanglement of my responsibilities, I carry with me the Breathe, Pause and Regenerate pill that I could just pop in regularly to enable me to witness magical things unfold in my adult life - the ones that make me feel like a kid on Halloween (I had always been a weirdo.lol). Ok fine, like a kid on Christmas Eve.

Have a great week ahead and Happy Holidays! I am so excited to go home I couldn’t sleep!

Bekasi Diaries 23

2008-12-18T18:22:00.005+08:00

17.12.2008

I was having a sanity break from reviewing hundreds of CVs when this theater workshop thing that was supposed to help you break your inhibitions or crumble your walls and stuff just popped into my head.

I am not sure if I got everything right but I sincerely hope that as you read through, you’ll be able to get rid of some excess baggage. No guarantees that it’d work though ‘cos if I remembered it correctly, this exercise was like the fifth one off the PETA series that our director was using.

I do believe all those crazy workshops helped us get that coveted slot in the National Competition for Speech Choir that was held at the Cultural Center of the Philippines ages ago. Fond, fond memories, I must say. I miss the stage. Here goes. And oh, the subtexts are for YOU. You, who wasted my time.

“You are in a box. A wooden box. The wood is unpolished and the side walls create an unpleasant sensation as your skin comes into contact with them so you try to curl into a ball. You keep on curling and curling and curling until you feel so small, until you cannot feel the box anymore.”

That’s how you make me feel. You suffocate me. Your words bruise me, so bad they force me to retreat into my tiny world, away from the light - the light that has guided me to this place under the sun.

“And then you feel that the box starts shrinking, and a puddle is created by the beads of sweat flowing mercilessly out of your body. The water is starting to rise.”

But you are selfish, just focusing on your miseries like nothing else matters. You are a stagnant river of insincere smiles and fleeting sensations. A stinking flood of deception.

“You can’t breathe anymore. Gasping for air, you try as hard as you can to get out of the box, pushing up, sideways, unmindful of the pain. Your blood is pumped. You are focused on achieving your goal to get out of the box!”

The sound of your voice reverberates in the hollow chambers of my mind. I much rather be thoughtless than think of you, and how your smile, or just a simple glance could turn my world upside down. My heart is beating so fast I just know it’s not right. You may claim all the credit for the tremors.

“After several minutes of struggling you see a tiny speck of light. Gathering all your strength you kicked up real hard and the most beautiful sky came into view. You got out of the box and ran into a field as green as emerald. You paused to admire the magnificent view of a mountain. Your instinct tells you that you had already conquered that peak. Your train of thought was pleasantly interrupted by a gentle breeze, then a slight drizzle. Eyes closed you raised your hands high up in the sky, trying to touch the clouds and felt every revolting thing within your system slowly getting dissolved, one by one.”

I shook my head in disbelief wondering why it took me so long to realize that some fights are not worth fighting for. This should be an easy night.

Bekasi Diaries 22

2008-12-16T15:52:00.004+08:00

The sun is shining in a way that conjures lazy mornings on a beachfront cottage, with the smell of pancakes and jam and brewed coffee hanging thickly over the air.

Wake up, John and drink a reality pill.

You closed the blinds so you wouldn't have to endure the painfully beautiful imagery evoked by the rays of the mata hari. You covered your eyes with your hands, but the light managed to cunningly seep through the tiny spaces between your fingers, and you can see seahorses dancing.

You don't have to see it to know it exists.

You are suddenly nine years old again, playing under the caimito tree while eating binatog. You then gather the dried leaves and with a little help from your cousins burn them under the bahay-kubo, hoping to ward off not just the mosquitoes, but the evil spirits that start lurking around when the clock strikes 6.

Clearly, life is what you make of it.

You vividly remember how you loved having siesta, with 94.7, Mellow Touch as your sleeping pill. All of a sudden, you are overcome with gratitude for the simple fact that your taste in music was not marred by the soundtrack of those seemingly endless siestas - an imposed childhood ritual that oftentimes made you feel like you missed out on one whole day, leaving you disorientated for the rest of the afternoon.

That's what I am talking about

You sometimes wonder if your days are an endless cycle of waking up from bad siestas, hence the neuroses. But then you just know that having siestas is not so bad after all. You dream of Spain, and a flock of migratory birds take you away.

And then, you are up and about.

This is how I flow.

Mata Hari means sun in Bahasa. Caimito is the tagalog equivalent of Star Apple. Binatog is a Pinoy snack made from boiled corn kernels, grated coconut and salt. Bahay kubo is a traditional Filipino house with a thatched roof, immortalized in a nursery rhyme about vegetables. Photo courtesy of Google Image Search.

Bekasi Diaries 21: My 200th Entry

2008-12-14T20:42:00.002+08:00

Have you seen the MTV VMA 2008?

Pink, The Jonas Brothers and TI made MTV History. Be sure to catch it.

Bekasi Diaries 20

2008-12-13T10:13:00.003+08:00

Today, a note was slipped under my door to inform me that the hotel is introducing a twist to the breakfast buffet by serving it in the pool area.

The view is not to die for but I still enjoyed it immensely because the wind just kept on blowing the whole time I was eating.

iPod plugged in my ears, I feasted on Nasi Goreng, breaded chicken, beef sausages, waffles, salad and some fruits. After five songs I was finished. I uttered a short prayer of thanks for the nice morning and went straight to the lobby to blog about it.

Clearly, I have no reasons to sulk even if I had missed three Christmas parties as of this writing. God can give you your own Christmas party, even if you don't ask for it.

Have a blessed weekend!

Bekasi Diaries 19

2008-12-12T17:25:00.003+08:00

There’s this girl I’ve always fancied. She looks really good – tall enough, maybe around five four to five feet five inches tall – which is good because I do not want my bride to stand taller than me on our wedding day. She has skin that feels nice to the touch. Her teeth are nice, which make her smile look even sweeter. She has big brown eyes that I love to stare at during dinner. She has an aquiline nose, something that she can pass on to an offspring. She is slender, with the curves at the right places and has a very good sense of style – she is able to dress down or dress up, or dress wildly, if the situation calls for it. Oh did I tell you about her hair? She does different things to it. But it always looks amazing, and smells great too.

She looks unattainable when she walks, but radiates a certain glow that makes her look divine and not too full of herself. She speaks better English than I do. She likes movies as much as I do, and can stay in the multiplex all day without thinking that it is such a waste of time.

She likes to exercise, and loves good food, but is not very picky. She takes vitamins, takes care of herself and her loved ones really well, an excellent cook and a voracious reader. She is independent, with a hotshot career to boot.

When we travel she likes to arrange for the little things but allows me to take charge. She pampers me and makes me feel like a baby, or a king - a man worthy of her undivided attention. She always finds ways to surprise me, and helps me in overcoming my weaknesses. She tells me when she thinks I am wrong, and I tend to get convinced.

She knows how to make feel good when I am blue. She massages my back when she feels that I had a stressful day. She stimulates my mind and inspires me to be a better man in all aspects.

She helps me stay in shape and she is never the type to complain about minor things – she is almost always beyond petty things. She likes to be treated like a woman, but is really cute when she channels her inner child.

She is not phony and may like the finer things in life, but doesn’t look down on those who cannot appreciate her taste. She is patient, and is genuinely interested in people.

She is the type who will maintain her good looks even after giving birth, basically because her beauty is not just skin deep, she has faith and believes in God. She is a radical Christian and is not the type who gets swayed from one belief system to another.

She never asks me why I suddenly develop an obsession to a specific subject matter, but rather immerses herself in what interests me so we could discuss things, and have a deeper understanding, which may not be common, of issues such as the global economic crisis, or the climate change.

She is modern but retains most of the values that makes a Filipina one heck of a woman. She doesn’t curse and loves my family, despite us being a quirky bunch.

She knows how to make a house look like a home and she has impeccable taste when it comes to appliances and furniture. She reads the manuals of equipment and helps me figure out how to do simple wirings and plumbing, but almost always, asks for my help in doing the dirty work when I am around.

We will live in a really nice house, with a spacious living and dining area and a room that has huge windows, and a nice view of the pool. Our garden is huge, with some fruit bearing trees. And the best thing about that is the location, which is near the city.

We will also have a vacation house in Tagaytay and a beach house in Laiya since I like driving the family to our vacation destination. She also knows how to drive but allows me to do the job because that’s one of my ways to serve her.

She understands my quirks and loves me anyway. We grow old together, happy and content. And we are able to make a difference in other people’s lives.

I know she’s just waiting to be found. And I will.

Bekasi Diaries 18

2008-12-11T15:41:00.003+08:00

I considered myself tagged because I needed some distraction. I almost forgot how fun it is to answer surveys! he he he

1) What color is your toothbrush?
The one at home is blue and my travel toothbrush is white
2) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Was responding to an office-related e-mail
3) What is your favorite candy bar?
I never liked candy bars
4) Have you ever been to a strip club?
Loser, not yet
5) What is the last thing you said aloud?
To my associate Anies: She’s a strong candidate but I need more
6) What is the best ice cream flavor?
A toss up between vanilla and pistachio
7) What was the last thing you had to drink?
Teh Botol
8) What are you wearing right now?
Light Pink Button Down Long-Sleeved Shirt, Gray Pinstripes Slacks and Leather Shoes (black briefs and socks)
9) What was the last thing you ate?
Apple
10) Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Yup
11) When was the last time you ran?
Two nights ago, I was running around my room trying to exercise a bit
12) Who was the last person to send you a message/comment on Friendster?
My niece, but I didn’t publish her comment. He he he.
13) Do you take vitamins daily?
Yup, I take the Multivitamins as well as the Fiber Capsule from the ShapeWorks line of Herbalife
14) Do you go to church every Sunday?
For the past two months, yes =)
15) Do you have a tan?
Yes, since 2007
16) Do you like Chinese food over pizza?
Chinese. I don’t think this is a good question.
17) Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Nope since Nenuca my friend lectured me on the lifespan of plastics. Unless it is in a bottle that has a filthy-looking lid
18) What did your last text message say?
Haven’t texted anyone in a while. Can't remember.
19) Are you someone's best friend?
Yes
20) What are you doing tomorrow?
I’ll be working, and will go swimming after.
21) Where is your dad?
I hope he’s in heaven
22) Look to your left, what do you see?
Empty Air Mineral botol from Horison Hotel and my backpack
23) What color is your watch?
I don’t have one
24) Do you use chapstick?
Used to, when I was vainer
25) What is your birthstone?
I don’t know
28) Last guy you talked on the phone with?
Pak Ari Widyanto, an applicant for the HR Manager position
29) Last girl you talked on the phone with?
Dinna Leuterio from Asia Select
30) Any plans today?
I am just gonna bum around in my room
31) Do you dye your hair?
Nope
32) Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
My shoulders, they’re strained
33) Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Just tried, can’t. Stopped at X. he he
34) Do you have a maid service clean your house?
I am staying in a hotel right now so it’s all covered
35) Are you jealous of anyone?
Yes
36) Do you love anyone?
Of course
37) Do any of your friends have children?
Yup
38) Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Surprisingly, I don’t hate anyone right now
39) Do you use the word hello daily?
Yes when I pick up the phone
40) Do you like cats?
Nope
41) Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Nope
42) How did you get your worst scar?
From falling face first on our porch when I was 7, I think. Frickin’ Rambo slippers
43) How old was your mom when you were born?
44 years old
44) What is your favorite smell?
On girls: Smell of Vanilla. I wear four different scents: Bulgari Aqua, Lacoste Essentials, Burberry Summer and Tommy 10. I like the scent of white musk, fresh lang.
45) What was the last dvd you watched?
Can’t remember
46) Do you like sudoku?
Never liked it. I am bobo e. he he
47) Have you ever been to Disney World?
Nope, not interested to go there
48) What is your favorite number?
88. lol
49) Do you toast your Pop Tarts?
I am Pinoy. We don’t have Pop Tarts
50) Have you ever waited tables?
I’ve always wanted to work as a waiter in Amanpulo
51) Do you vote?
I do. We should make our votes count!
53) What is your zodiac sign?
Capricorn
54) Do you work out?
I am a gym bunny if I have the time
55) Do you want to be married?
Yes
56) Do you remember the "Pepsi wave"?
Barely
57) Do you like clowns?
I am not interested in clowns
58) What is your favorite animal?
The animal within. Yaaaak corny
59) Do you have/want children?
Not sure. If God gives me one then it should be a good thing
60) Do you enjoy wasting time on Friendster?
I don't enjoy wasting time. But I like responding to surveys! he he he

Consider yourself tagged. =)

Bekasi Diaries 17

2008-12-09T17:21:00.004+08:00

A recent conversation I had ended with this question:

"...how prepared are we to accept it if it turned out that 'falling into place' meant giving up and letting go? is it never gonna get finished, the ugly cycle of falling and hurting and so on?..."

This is one of those days when you just can't seem to care about the world.

Bekasi Diaries 16

2008-12-04T13:12:00.008+08:00

I love my loner lunch hits because I get to finish my meal early, which gives me ample time to type in some thoughts for the day.

On my way to work this morning, I was reading The Jakarta Post that carries with it news of China being more cooperative in the worlwide campaign to address the problem of Global Climate Change. With reference to a statement made by US Senator John Kerry - soon to be Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chair - China used to resist the efforts because they felt that the efforts are some form of Western Conspiracy aimed at stifling their growth. But now they are, based on their more active participation in climate talks, more open to the possibilities. What a great news, I must say, because I believe everyone remembers the not-so-entertaining, pre-2008 Olympics spectacle that is the Beijing Skyline watch, which we followed with so much gusto like some campy tv series.

I also found out that yesterday was the International Day of Persons with Disabilities. Several dozens of blind people staged a rally in Yogyakarta (where Borobodur is!) to express their disappointment with the widespread discrimination against blind people. And to this bit I say: Shame on us people who choose to be blind to what's happening around us (guilty!) and are so focused on pursuing our selfish interests! But really now, how do you establish the balance, and when can you actually start tilting the scale such that you are able to do more for others?

Today's Post also features an interview with Gustav F. Papanek, President of Boston Institute for Developing Economies, (this guy talks about the slowdown of the global economy as if he is just talking about hamburgers) who gave some tips on how to combat the effects of the crisis.

Papanek discussed that economies can resort to what the IMF used to recommend that is, Contractionary Stabilization, wherein you cut government spending and raise interest rates to defend the local currency - which has negative effects such as people losing their jobs and having lower income. Hmmm. Not quite a good picture eh?

However, he mentioned that a better way to deal with the crisis is to focus on growing the domestic economy, which is China's strategy, given that the country has a lot of surplus money, and can focus on improving their infrastructure to boost domestic employment, and eventually, the spending! Sadly, with the corruption here and in the Philippines, it might be very hard to carry this one out. Haaayayay.

Whoa. Really stressful, ya? See what being alone can do? It can make you care! he he he

And that's the top of the hour news reviews from your Bekasi correspondent. Good bye.

Bekasi Diaries 15

2008-12-04T10:16:00.006+08:00

Sue, a Lingkod Naga sister, a friend, and a fellow UP alumni posted a comment on my multiply site which read:

"Thanks for finding me and subsequently allowing me to discover John the blog and John the person. Reading your blog feels like reading a Robert Fulghum book – I couldn’t ‘put it down’.

Contrary to what you claim about your writing, I absolutely love it. It feels like it was weaving a kind of emotional tapestry around me. It does not just allow me to feel your emotions when you were writing your entry but it also forced my own emotions about some parallel issues and concern to surface and to look me in the eyes.

‘Walking through’ your life as you described and narrated them felt like looking back on the road that I have once travelled. It reinforces my belief that all of us are strangely connected by an invisible thread that weaves a surreal but comforting tapestry twining and touching one heart with another through parallel experiences and almost similar sentiments. It somehow brings new perspective, a different kind of healing and catharsis (one of your fave words?!) especially at this time when I’m struggling with my questions on relationships, friendships, trust and motives.

Even during the times that you write with loneliness and despair, the general feel still comes out positive. Probably because you have a very strong ally that works wonders to you, with you and through you and your blog.

(Once again), you have been a post and a lamp in my journey…for the 2nd time. Thank you.

Take care of yourself over there and enjoy whatever each day brings.Cheers.

PS. You remind me of a good friend who writes with passion and without being afraid of showing his (layers of) emotions but Jard is a professional writer. Probably, you could be one if you really set your heart into it. Lol."

This just made my day.

Bekasi Diaries 14: 300 As A Reflection Guide

2008-12-01T09:21:00.005+08:00

As I was channel surfing after breakfast this morning, I saw that 300 was on at HBO. Now apart from being that movie that made me want to be a Spartan Warrior, I’ve always remembered 300 as that revolutionary film that used CGI to the hilt and introduced moviegoers to what I’d like to call, a real cinematic experience.

By real cinematic experience I mean a movie that feels and looks like a movie. It doesn’t attempt to draw you in through complex characterization and plot twists and familiar settings. The director unabashedly declares that this is a movie! With the overall look and feel, the makers of 300 seem to declare: hey, this may be based on actual historical events but don’t get carried away.

However, in a very strange turn of events, it just dawned on me that 300 has a plot that should bring us to reflection especially during this season, the season that should remind us how Jesus’ mission began. Amidst all the gore and violence, I was reminded of our own mission to be disciples of all men.

From that point on I saw the movie as a classic battle between good and evil, perfectly capturing the essence that discipleship demands from us – that essence which requires us to be brave and bold, and unafraid to give all that we have for the fulfillment of our mission.

With this mindset, my mind went on overdrive reflecting on the different notable sequences of the movie.

When King Leonidas decided to defy the silly demands of some creatures that told him not to wage war against Xerxes – who by the way calls himself the king of all kings and the god of all gods – it shows how we must not be caught up in the mysticisms entailed by some practices that do nothing but sow fear and breed lack of faith in God’s power.

Fast forward to his face to face encounter with Xerxes who offered him all the transitory things that this world has to offer, King Leonidas refuses to kneel before this false prophet and I couldn’t help but be reminded of that bit in the bible when the devil tempted Jesus Christ in the mountains.

The 300 Spartan Warriors had to deal with what Xerxes sent them: ‘immortal’ warriors, monsters, magic, a storm of spears and all that but their shield and their swords kept them alive. As Christians, we have our faith as our shield and prayer as our sword to keep us afloat in the sea of monsters that eat us from within and all the magic that sometimes draws us to a life of conspicuous consumption and worthless bickering and all that.

The reaction of the hunchback creature that decided to turn to the enemy because he was very shortsighted to see the wisdom behind the words of King Leonidas, may represent some pitfalls we may slide into when serving Him. Admittedly, the natural high brought about by service becomes so intoxicating; we may feel shortchanged if we are not serving God in a big way. If not dealt with properly, I believe this may have some serious repercussions.

And finally, when King Leonidas dies and all of Greece realizes the big sacrifice he had made, I couldn’t help but be a little more hopeful that someday, the whole world will appreciate all the suffering that Jesus had to undergo just so he can save us and make us free men. Free from the bondage of sin and hatred and fear and all the other things that keep us away from Him.

When that time comes, there’ll be no more Mumbai attacks that kill innocent people, Prime Ministers that cause such massive demonstrations and on a more personal level, people who do nasty things to other people just so they could advance their all too personal agenda.

I end this post with the hope that I will become as brave as the Spartan Warriors in practicing my faith. I pray that I will have the strength to not easily give in to the demands of the fearful monsters. I also pray for wisdom so that will I not be dazzled by the magic that may appear harmless but are keeping me off the track.

And that is my prayer for you as well.

Bekasi Diaries 13

2008-11-28T12:50:00.004+08:00

I was watching The List last night on Channel V and in it are videos that have the most smashing dance choreography.

Guess which made it to the top?

Of course, it is Alanis Morissette’s So Pure video, one of my all-time favorites (it ranks second to the high budget Head Over Feet video.lol), which displays the singer’s other talent. I must say she’s a genius!

Other interesting videos that made it to The List are Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation (although I think Doesn’t Really Matter has got better choreography! And dancing on that disc thing can be difficult, don’t you think?), Geri Halliwell’s It’s Raining Men (she looks smokin’ in that video, I must say. It was my first time to see the video last night), Gwen Stefani’s Hollaback Girl (the cheerleading bit is Gwen-cool) and there’s one from Asian Pop Idol Rain called I’m Coming, which has a surprisingly sly choreo.

I don’t agree with the decision to include two Paula Abdul videos when there is none from Jacko (aah, Thriller?!?) and ‘N Sync (It’s Gonna Be Me and Bye Bye Bye have some great moves in them). And J. Lo's Love Don’t Cost A Thing has a very simple, but very energetic dance bit.

On another note, I decided to revert to my more active lifestyle of less tv and decided to take a dip in the pool last night. I was just running (yes, running in the pool since the gym is STILL under renovation) around and trying to do some cardio and abs exercises so I can burn some calories. I only lasted for 30 minutes since the water was cold and no one else was swimming, which was kinda creepy. But then again, I can surely take the creepiness of being alone than the other kind (read: swim in the pool with creepy, or baho people).

After swimming, I was so energetic that I was able to review all 100+ resumes of the applicants for the HR Supervisor post. Of course I have my non-negotiables so it was easy and I have picked seven. I hope I’d be able to get one very soon.

I finished doing the job at around 11 and turned on the tube just to help me sleep. True Hollywood Story: Tara Reid is on so I watched a bit until I felt my lids getting heavier and heavier.

So I turned off the tube and uttered a prayer. Sleep is good. Sleep is divine.

P.S. Have you seen the Chasing Pavements video by Adele? Really nice!

Bekasi Diaries 12

2008-11-27T09:26:00.002+08:00

I just uploaded two entries that I did last night. Haaaay.

I am on a blogging roll! he he he

Bekasi Diaries 11

2008-11-27T09:16:00.003+08:00

11.26.2008

I feel shortchanged by fate today.

I dunno what made me browse through the Friendster page of an old college friend and now I regret having done it.

You see, as I was looking at her album, I saw a picture of her together with THE ex, whom up until still lives in me like some sort of a parasite (sorry for the cheap comparison but I just saw an episode of Eaten Alive on Discovery last night), with the ability to suck the lifeblood out of me in a second.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate her. It’s just that I still couldn’t figure out why I still think about her often. Why, even after so many years, do I still harbor illusions of getting back with her?

Which leads me to the question; do you ever get over somebody? Because I am a living testament that somehow, you cannot. In one way or another, whether it was a good or a bad relationship, the ties that bind you just don’t get broken. It gets looser with time but it still has its grip on you. And believe me, a scent, a song, a stream of thought or in my case a picture can gag you in an instant.

Which reminds me of the mission given to me by some friends, while I am here, all alone in a foreign land. Since they figured that I’d have a lot of time to reflect and stuff, they suggested during my despedida that I try to break the soul ties I have with THE ex through prayers. And I’d like to believe I’ve already achieved a certain level of success in a sense because right now, I can openly say that I still love her, without being afraid of sounding like a fool, without questioning its truthfulness.

Now that sounds a little silly yeah but let me try to make my point.

For those immersed in community life you will know that the State Of Life Discernment is an activity that you undertake to know what your calling is. Some end up choosing to stay single blessed for the Lord. Others choose Priesthood. Others end up convinced that they are for married life. But as it was communicated to me, and I hope I am correct in my understanding, the best output is that you should be able to recognize that you are not forced to a decision but rather, you are at peace with the idea of fulfilling the call, whatever it may be.

Having said that, I end my post with this: I might end up getting back with THE ex if she still wants me to be a part of her life. A budding relationship which I had to leave behind temporarily could bloom into something beautiful, if the distance would help us figure things out. Or I could meet somebody, maybe through the community or some travel that I hope I’d get to do in the next couple of months or years and I would be willing to move.

The good thing is, I have made peace with whatever will come my way. And I think that breaks the soul ties in the best way possible.

Bekasi Diaries 10

2008-11-27T09:14:00.001+08:00

I read somewhere that listening to one’s favorite music is not only psychologically, but physiologically helpful as well. With that in mind, I created a new playlist entitled Current LSSs and I want to share its contents with you:

1. Hot ‘N Cold by Katy Perry – Listening to this song reminds me of its music video, which I would like to call inane! Pointless in a really funny way.
2. Hanging By A Moment by Lifehouse – I just ripped their album Who We Are and while I am trying to absorb its contents, I figured that it would help if I listened to something I am already familiar with. Does that make sense?
3. Rock With You by Michael Jackson – This is one of Jackos greatest hits (one of the many that made it to the top of the charts) and I heart its groove. This is my jam!
4. Wait For You by Elliot Yamin – A soulful ballad from the AI contestant who, from my point of view, delivered some of the most memorable performances. Did you catch that episode when he sang Queen’s Somebody To Love? He killed it like anything!
5. Different Stars by Trespassers William – Have you ever gone boating at night with fireflies all around you? This song will bring that moment to you and more. It has a calming effect, which makes you want to just lie down, and savor the moment.
6. In The Ghetto by Mica Paris – This artist killed most of the Soul Classics in her album of the same name. I am a fan!
7. Our Last Summer from the Mamma Mia OST – One day, I’ll go to Skopeloes, Greece. Enough said.
8. 1234 by Feist – Makes my head bob up and down, like those ugly dogs sold in the streets of the Philippines. What can I say, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
9. and 10. The Way You Make Me Feel and dyahe, I Just Can’t Stop Loving You, again by Michael Jackson – Shit, I am old. Comfort songs. Reminds me of the tragedy that is Michael Jackson and how everything can just fade away if you start indulging way too much just because you can.
11. Stay In The Shade by Jose Gonzales – With killer guitar riffs (yuck feeling expert.hehe) and a haunting melody, I included this because it just makes me feel a bit unsettled, unsafe and I believe everybody needs that jolt, that tiny amount of fear so one can feel his blood running through his veins, and appreciate the safety that one’s network, the institutions and the general order that this world provides. It just enables you to see beyond the misery of day to day life eh?

What’s on your playlist?

P.S. Not included in this playlist, but the song The Man Who Can’t Be Moved hits homerun, hence I published it here on the right side of my page. If you are one of my closest friends, you’ll know that I AM the original man who CAN’T be moved!

Bekasi Diaries 9

2008-11-26T15:48:00.007+08:00

I was checking my Yahoomail over lunch and there was a notification that read Friendster Friend Updates. I usually delete stuff like these without reading them because my mindset is that I can just go to the site if and when I feel like catching up.

But today, since I had about 30 minutes to spare, I decided to click on the more interesting updates. And in about 10 minutes I learned so many new things about my friends! A college friend is now the Talent Acquisition Manager for one of the biggest call centers in the Philippines. One of my closest friends’ new profile photo is a picture of us in Bohol captioned as I Miss John and Bohol! An ex-girlfriend posted pictures of her birthday celebration and Rihanna and Chris Brown’s concert. A college block mate is now into mountaineering and my crush has posted a new primary photo. He he he

Everyone seems so happy these days. The cynic in me though is saying that of course nobody would post in an online networking page that he / she is drowning in misery. Come to think of it, I have yet to meet somebody who does that, I mean, post a shout out such as: I am miserable! Well if you really think about it, it should be pretty normal to not update your Facebook / Friendster site when you are supposed to be praying and finding ways to get out of whatever shit you are in.

Given my cheery disposition these days, I’d like to believe that some people are really having the time of their lives by advancing in their chosen career, starting a family, finding a new hobby, missing their friends or just doing the simple things that make them feel alive.

I used to define happiness in such complex terms that I spent a good part of my life unable to consider myself as an individual with a high rate of subjective well being. But now that I am a lot older, and more in touch with the Lord, I have realized that happiness is, to invent a word, the freest gift of all.

You can have it the minute you wake up and realize that you are given one more day to discover new things, or blaze new trails. You can have it while you are having a hot shower on a really cold Wednesday morning. For me and most of my friends, breakfast food always makes us happy. Make that very happy.

Personally, the top 15 happiness-inducing stuff in my life would be the following:

1. The wind on my face
2. A really nice beach
3. A comfortable and funky cotton shirt paired with my hi-cut Chuck Taylor sneakers
4. A really good bargain
5. Doing a good job
6. After office drinks (can be coffee or beer, or both!) and a nice meal.
7. Baguio (or any place that allows me to wear a jacket / coat)
8. A long day with my friends doing something new like discovering a nice café.
9. Family dinner and our annual Easter swimming party
10. Prayer meeting and Social Action Team activities
11. Film Festivals
12. A good book
13. Exercise 14. Performing on stage
15. A comment dropped in my blog

How about you? Have you thunk happy thoughts lately? Life is short. Live happily.

Bekasi Diaries 8 - Updated

2008-11-21T14:19:00.006+08:00

For the first time, I finally had an authentic, Indonesian-style lunch.

People who know me well are aware that my minimum requirement when I eat out is that there should be, at the very least, good ventilation in the place or I'd just end up wiping saltwater off my face, and not enjoy the meal to the fullest.

But today is not like any other day. I am ready for adventure. As I scoured the long row of stalls outside Makro in Cikarang, I knew I was gonna enjoy the whole experience.

I finally settled to have Tahu, Beef and Ikan Goreng to go with my Nasi Putih, to be dipped in Sambal (the Goreng stuff not the Nasi). I completed the meal with two cups of Es Teh Poci.

The fried goodies and rice: IDR 13.000
The iced tea: IDR 2.500 each
The experience of having lunch, Indonesian-style: PRICELESS.

Day Rating (to borrow my friend's blogging style these days): 8. And it's just 12:45.

Update: Towards the end of the day, I had my first posting with the GM. I also sent out an e-mail to my bosses back in the Philippines. The outcome of these two seemingly mundane activities upped my day rating to a 12! (and we're talking of a 10-point scale here!)

Excuse me while I utter a prayer of thanks.

Bekasi Diaries 7

2008-11-21T08:34:00.003+08:00

Good morning world!

Thank God it's Friday.

I am excited to go to work. Excited to explore another part of Jakarta tomorrow. Psyched to check my e-mail later when I get to the office to see whether they were able to re-book my ticket.

There are so many things that we should be excited about, right?

The oncoming Holiday season, for one, brings with it so much fond memories as well as opportunities to make new ones. It also presents us with the opportunity to reflect on our lives and try to unlearn outdated ways of doing things, overcome bad habits, weep over our losses and embrace the changes they bring.

So there, some early morning reflection at the hotel lobby while waiting for my ride.

Have a great day ahead!

Bekasi Diaries 6

2008-11-19T14:42:00.004+08:00

What can I say?

Chicharong Baboy never tasted this good!

Yum.

Thanks to Pareng GIS (Google Image Search) for the photo

Bekasi Diaries 5

2008-11-14T17:42:00.006+08:00

I might be home for Christmas.

I have already gotten the approval of my bosses. Final hump would be the re-booking of my flight. Okay, let's all pray together!

To my friends, if we ever get to meet up, please tell me if I smell funky, granted that I've been eating traditional Indo food for the past couple of weeks already (and for a few more weeks) so please be honest and no talks behind my back, ok? he he he.

I hope I could finally go to Sagada. Baguio will not be so bad, though. I am more than ready to hit the mountains after my trip to this outlet store called Fashion Warehouse in downtown Jakarta last Saturday.

Since textile is one of the biggest exports of this country, I figured that the stuff they have in the shop could really be what they call overruns, meaning, the items are original but the label, or the stitching got a bit effed up, hence, they are sold at a lower cost.

I know that my new advocacy is to lessen my carbon imprint and I feel really guilty for buying several stuff because my Tito, who works for the UNDP had already castigated me for the truckloads of shoes and apparel I have in my possession, saying that I have contributed to the melting of the ice caps in Antarctica.

Incidentally, last night I was watching a BioMarine Global Debate on BBC, which focused on the exploitation of the seas to lessen the degradation of the land and what can be done to address the problem of global climate change. I was so engrossed because I wanted to know more about the topic but I just realized that a lot of politics is still involved in the approval of policies, strategies and all that. I felt so sick when I realized how complicated everything has become, and that most of the destruction is really caused by man and his desire to know and do more.

A Gospel reflection (Matthew 16:23) for the day says:

Jesus turned to Peter and said, "Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, and not from God's."

I guess we all have some lessons to learn about letting go and letting God. I know I do. My assignment here in Indonesia gets trickier as the days go by and I always consciously seek His help so that I wouldn't go frantic, and panic to my wits' end when confronted with 'new' problems.

I hope we will all learn to submit to God's wisdom, for good measure. I mean, I am trying very

hard and I still fail, but I try my best to stay focused and look at His face, always. I hope you'll have the strength and endurance to do the same.

Keep praying for me. Have a blessed week ahead, everyone!

Bekasi Diaries 4

2008-11-14T12:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I interviewed a candidate for the HR Manager position. (I am scheduled to interview three more on Tuesday next week, but that's another story).

I hope that my boss will find him suitable for the post. Very down to earth and detail-oriented that guy, exactly the type of person we need here in the company.

As if that wasn't enough to make me feel good, my staff did something, which will go down in my book as one of the ultimate pick me uppers (alongside my current addictions, Ne-Yo's Ms. Independent and the re-run of Friends on Star World, which has a new logo that I don't like. The logo is too big).

You see as I was ushering the candidate out of my office, the three girls, Via, Anis and Dwi started inquiring who that guy was and I told them that he is an applicant for the HR Manager position. They said "no, we will appeal to the GM that you become permanent!" (even if they all know that an Expat cannot assume the HR Manager post here) and then one of the girls uttered something in Bahasa, which sent Via and Dwi laughing their heads off. Basically, she said that she hopes my replacement will be as handsome as me. Such high standards these girls have eh? He he he

How's that for a pick me upper? Happy weekend everyone!

Bekasi Diaries 3

2008-11-11T13:09:00.000+08:00

First time to eat lunch all by myself.

Erne, the bubbly, kikay ground crew brought up some food from the canteen, which had the staple kerupuk, soup with some vegetables in it (looked a lot like miso soup but tasted more like tong yang, minus the sour, sinigang-like taste). Of course there was rice and a piece of chicken cooked in tomatoes and chili. Yum. Made me sweat like a pig though.

Last night, I was so tired to eat dinner so I just grabbed some goodies from BreadTalk. I decided that I wanted to finally try the coffee concoctions at J. Co so I bought an Iced Mochabella, which proved to be really good. It helped me stay up until 11 pm and I was able to reply to some e-mails that have piled up, both personal and work-related.

Despite missing home terribly, I believe that I am able to cope really well. I am confident that God will take care of everything.

Time to go back to work. My 30-minute break is up.

Bekasi Diaries 2

2008-11-10T17:37:00.001+08:00

8-11-08
(this is how they write dates here – ddmmyy)

Quantum of Solace

Short but sweet.

That is the best way to describe the latest installment off the 007 franchise called Quantum of Solace.

The world’s favorite agent conquers land, sea and air, kills all the bad guys – even those he was not supposed to, but it’s okay since their characters are rotten anyway – and manages to squeeze in a nookie with a redhead cookie (tart is more like it, but I am going for rhymes here).

Once again, Daniel Craig delivers a top notch, raw portrayal of Agent Bond, James Bond (he has yet to deliver the line!). I must say that it is such a great approach in giving the fans a glimpse of how Bond was like in his early days, when he would actually slug it out with the villains in a more, well still not entirely, realistic manner. And let us not forget Russian-Bolivian Olga Kurylenko, who graces the cover of this month’s TV Guide! He he he. She is hands down, at least in my book, the most kick ass Bond girl to hit the screen.

So we all went out of the Plaza Semanggi in downtown Jakarta feeling de-stressed. It was for me, the perfect treat to top off a stressful, yet very exciting first week as officer in charge for PT URC Indonesia (more on this below). And yup, I did enjoy dinner at Doner Kebab and the double chocolate crepe from D’ Crepes.

What else can I say? A James Bond movie is every guy’s Prozac. I remember my friend Joseph telling me about his officemate who was all worked up with the title, Quantum of Solace, since it doesn't make sense. After watching the movie, I think it does make sense. Oh well, even if it didn't, who cares? Bond history will tell you that the titles and the plots are not meant to please the so-called ‘intellectuals.’ What can you expect from a franchise with a string of such genius-sounding titles such as Dr. No, Tomorrow Never Dies and Die Another Day?

I can’t wait for the next installment. Hmmm, what will be a good title? Since climate change is a major threat right now, how about The Ice Caps Are Melting? Oh, I am rambling already. Time to move on to my Bekasi Diaries…Part 2!

Bekasi Diaries 2

I just noticed that I have developed some red patches on my face after one week of being here in Indonesia! Is stress getting the better of me? I hope not.

I’ve been here for a whole week now and what can I say? Working as an expat really changes one’s perspective of work and of the world in general. Some may think that it is too early for me to be saying stuff like this but getting exposed to another culture and a new set of laws and practices not only gives me a higher level of understanding of the HR function but a deeper appreciation of the diversity that exists in this world, which I only used to experience vicariously.

Despite the fact that I am having a grand time working here in Indonesia living the kind of life that I’ve always dreamt of, I do miss home. I have never been more appreciative of the comforts I used to enjoy back home. You’ll never understand what I am talking about until you’ve experienced being famished with no English speaking personnel in the restaurant to take your frickin’ order or you get a call in the middle of night, while you are in a deep state of slumber of course, from the spa personnel asking if you wunt choo avail of de services, and you have work the next day! (Read this while trying to channel Chandler Bing, for full, ultra dorky impact)

I woke up from a bad dream of my mom crying over something silly around 2 am last Friday, so I texted my sister to give some updates and ask them how they are. Turned out she and mom were talking about me at that exact same time (well it was around 3 am in RP). Now that’s what I call solid connection!

Hmmm, something interesting happened this morning when I woke at around 7:30 (am, would you believe? on a weekend!). I turned on the tube to perk me up a bit and the perfect upper, an Up Dharma Down song was playing on Channel V! I also got the chance to listen to this artist who calls herself Feist, who has such great, up tempo songs, with quirky videos to match and I finally saw the video of Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. That video is whacked! So far the most ‘literal’ I’ve ever seen. I must say it worked. It was almost exactly how I imagined it to be!

In the afternoon we attended the anticipated mass and boy was it such a great service! Even if the stench of my seatmates was at the vortex of the apex of funk, it didn’t stop me from feeling the Love of the Lord. Their smell was migraine-inducing though. Good thing one of my companions had eucalyptus oil, which stumped the whole attack (I was very close to puking since I was seeing smoke already).

I’ve been meaning to blog the past couple of days about the great food I’ve been treating myself to but I never really got around to actually typing anything because I was so focused trying to make my stay here COUNT, and at the rate things are going, I am quite sure it will. With so many people praying for a successful stint, I can sleep tonight knowing that everything’s gonna be alright.

Have a good night, and hope I can blog again next weekend.

Bekasi Diaries 1

2008-11-02T10:05:00.000+08:00

The flight was relatively peaceful (read: not turbulent, no smelly seatmates and I was actually able to sleep a little). If that was foretelling of things to come, I am confident that those who stormed the heavens with their prayers were able to send their messages LOUD and CLEAR! (Special thanks to the Send Off Team - Joseph, Apple, Bevs, Rosselle and Mars, you guys are amazing!)

I am typing this standing up, since I am at the hotel lobby so I am not sure how it will affect the tone of my writing. All I know is that I am feeling especially peaceful to be here. The hotel they got me has a killer buffet breakfast so I couldn't ask for more. He he.

Yesterday, Ms. Ana, the treasury manager of URC Indonesia, Ms. Judy Ly and Mike Pavia of Team URC Manila toured me around Jakarta. After attending the anticipated mass at an International Church, we went to Semanggi for dinner. We ate at this joint called Red Bean and they have a killer Nasi Goreng Nanas! How's that for a welcome treat!?!

And then we went to Giant Supermarket to shop for some personal effects. The toiletries are relatively cheaper here. One of the few observations I made while walking around the mall:

1. They look like us.
2. They dress up the way they do.
3. They don't smell funky at all!

So apparently, all the horror stories are just that, horror stories! Or maybe I was just in a plush mall in the capital. But I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Ms. Ana gave me an informal orientation over dinner. Tomorrow will be my first day at work and I will be prepping up by reading through some of the stuff they sent on the different HR-related transactions, after I take a quick dip in the pool and watch some Friends re-run.

Gotta go! The next user has been throwing me dagger looks already!

Terimakasih for reading! Until next time.

Lucky

2008-10-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

If there is one good thing about leaving the country for a relatively longer period than the usual, and need I say affordable, one week vacation, it will definitely be the despedida party, or parties, if you are lucky to have such wonderful friends, like me! He he he.

Back to UP, and the Unexpected Road Trip

On October 11, my closest friends from the community, Joseph, Apple and Bevs had a meaningful post birthday celebration for Joseph - who already had a kick ass triple celeb with Ronald and Elma at V58 two Saturdays prior, if I may just mention, since it was such a fun event! - and a send off party for me over at UP Diliman, our alma mater.

Walking the streets of UP is always an acid test as regards my comfort level with the people I hang out with. It (the acid test) is utterly unnecessary I know with these guys but can I just say that it was really a cathartic experience to be back in UP with these people in tow! Joseph’s tour of his college building and his tambayan was quite an experience for me as well, since it has exorcised some college demons I had, and these would be my inexplicable aversion to college organizations and my general disregard for the sheer beauty of the UP System.

The Tapsilog at Rodic’s, the mass at the UP Chapel (and the surprising Bossa Nova arrangements of the songs), the walking tour of the College of Business Administration, breaking the soul ties at the round table, the good stuff at The Chocolate Kiss and of course, the conversations that comfortably switch from the inane to the profound, are more than enough to sustain me for two months. Thanks to Apple and Bevs and of course, to birthday boy Joseph for the stories, and the treats!

As if the UP experience wasn’t too much of a treat already, we went to Chili’s to celebrate our community brother Jonas’ 30th! We weren’t able to eat much because we were still so full from the food tripping we did at UP but going to another person’s birthday party, with the frame of mind that that day is also for my despedida is such a mature thing to do. It surely made me feel like a grown up. And I like it.

After the party, our community sister, Judy Ann Santos (her real name!) offered to drop us off at our respective, immediate destinations. Bevs was feeling a bit worn out already so she decided to go home and take a cab. Apple was supposed to get off at the Taft Station of the MRT so she could go home to QC. Joseph was going to another birthday celebration at Music 21 near The Heritage Hotel while I have already decided that I’d get off at Baclaran to enjoy a long bus ride to Cubao, since I wanted to just think through the day’s proceedings.

Now here comes an exciting twist. Since I wanted a slow, long, bus ride, Ann suggested that I ride with her all the way to Cavite to satiate my need, and I thought it would be a good thing, since that town played the perfect backdrop to some of the more enduring memories of the good old days with an old flame. I was already brimming with excitement since I knew it would provide another layer to my experiences of Cavite. While Ann was telling me that we could watch DVDs and have a late night snack of banana split and chips, she very smoothly injected the idea that it’d be more fun if Apple would come with us. Apple hesitated for a bit but eventually decided to join and in true high school fashion, we peer-pressured Joseph to join the road trip and house party over at Cavite and he acquiesced, since the Music 21 that he was going to attend would last until the day after. We just all agreed to head home early so we could still attend to our personal businesses.

And so we instinctively plugged in a Rivermaya greatest hits CD (I know, we’re old!) and had a blast, stopping over at a 7-11 to buy Melamine-free ice cream, and talking about random, interesting stuff. The road trip surely felt like a scene off my favorite movies like Reality Bites, or Go, or even 200 Cigarettes! It felt so surreal, as if we were in a place where everything was glossed with honey. Aaah the magic of spontaneity.

We reached Ann’s nice abode a little past 8 and immediately scoured her DVD rack for the more interesting stuff. We eventually decided to watch some concerts and I hate to admit this but the Savage Garden concert really made our night! Hehehe. There goes another guilty pleasure.hehehe

The Banana Split, singing along to the tongue-twisting I Want You, the magnificent concert at the Buckingham Palace, Ann’s gifts and the peaceful feeling we all had on our way back to Manila are simply: PRICELESS.

Learnings from a Wise Tito

On October 15, I met up with my high school bestfriend Darwin and Tito Rogel, who is currently Chief of Staff of the Special Unit, South-South Cooperation for the UNDP. It was so inspiring to talk to somebody who’s actually living the life that I dream of having. I am really proud of him not only because of his achievements but more because of his character, and the way he listens to what you have to say. And Tito Rogel is very generous in sharing his vast knowledge and his wisdom, brought about by his experiences working on key development programs. I surely felt lucky to have been able to meet up with him because he gave me tips on how I could attain my goals. I am more than ever convinced that my dreams are within reach.

Rona Banana and Pineapple Express

On October 16, my friend Rona and I had a post birthday party (she turned a year wiser last October 13) and a sort of despedida for me as well since I was supposed to leave on the 24th. We had dinner at La Maison and watched a riot of a movie called Pineapple Express!

We talked about weird coincidences and dissected supernatural occurrences. It is always a treat hanging out with Rona because apart from being extremely perceptive, our analytical skills gel together and we are able to come up with such weird, but plausible conclusions on things that bug our day-to-day existence. Having done a lot of work-related travels, she also gave me relevant pointers so I could survive my first, and definitely not the last, out of the country assignment!

And Pineapple Express was such a treat! I will have to blog about it very soon.

Of Lunch, Christening and Reunions

On October 18, Darwin and I had lunch with Tito Rogel at Max’s Antipolo, where we talked about creative economy and other eye-opening topics such as the One World, One Chance campaign of the UN.

After lunch, I had to go home to change since I promised to attend the christening of the son of Jen, one of my few high school friends.

During the reception dinner, I had the chance to bond with my friends from Jupiter Systems namely Carlo and Cathy. We were able to catch up with each and we all agreed that the Jupiter Sales and Marketing family was really quite unique. We had so much fun reliving our crazy habits and gimmicks until it was time for me to be fetched by Darwin and Tito Rogel for dinner and some drinks at the famed spot in Antipolo overlooking the city.

We had some mean Pinoy style dinner at Leonardo’s after visiting my brother’s house, currently under construction at La Montana Estate, which will be the venue of my birthday party next year. Hehehe. That night proved to me that friendships really endure, and you have to treasure and nurture this God-given gift.

The Northern Adventure

On October 19, Sunday, I was able to convince my honorary cousin Divine to come with me to Manaoag, Pangasinan since I am a devotee. I went there to offer candles of thanksgiving for the intercession, for protection and for some personal / familial concerns.

I have been going to the Shrine of the Our Lady of Manaog for the past 5 years and it is always a wonderful experience. I really made sure to pay her a visit before I leave for Indonesia!

I was quite poised to go home after having lunch in a nearby carinderia when Divine said that we should go to Baguio, one of my favorite spots in the country! I was a bit hesitant at first since I didn’t want to miss work (yes, I am a geek) so I sought permission from my boss and he said yes, since it was going to be a despedida cum Christmas cum Birthday celebration. Thanks Boss!

We checked in at Bloomfield Hotel and since I didn’t really plan for the trip, we immediately headed to SM Baguio, which is quite near the hotel to get some personal stuff and a change of clothes. Afterwards, we availed of the spa services offered by the hotel. The Swedish massage was really heavenly, inducing not just sleep, but a silent prayer of thanksgiving on my part for the little pockets of happiness that abound my existence. After getting a facial, we had dinner at the in house restaurant, and their seafood chowder was enough to make me feel like a spoiled brat. I slept like a kid until 9 am the next day.

Walking the streets of Baguio is always a spiritual experience for me. And walking the streets of Baguio, on a Monday, is simply divine! We had a hefty breakfast at my favorite, 50’s Diner along Leonard Wood. Walking back to the hotel, we decided that we would visit Tam-Awan Village and eat at Oh My Gulay before heading back to Manila.

The Tam-Awan Village is a tribute to the rich heritage of the Ifugao culture. Imbibing the spirit of the place really energized us in ways unimaginable. In one of the huts, we talked about the dynamics of office politics and the origin of trade, and how the global economic crisis affects the mid-income earners like us. I promised myself that I’d go back and stay in one of the huts, either in January, or early February. I can’t wait!

And Oh My Gulay lives up to its name. The Lumpia Salad will really haunt your senses! And did I mention about the ambiance? Owned by the artist known as Kidlat Tahimik, the architecture of the place redefines the concept of dining. It was like being in an artwork! And I simply couldn’t get off my head the unique world music that filled the air. That was quite a lunch, I must say.

The Hekkers at the Podium

On October 23, all the Hekkers, minus Irene and Sheila, had dinner at Roma Mia, which serves the largest and tastiest calzone I have ever seen. Their pizza and pasta are also pleasing to the senses. And did I mention that the prices are very reasonable as well? You should try it! Roma Mia is located at the 3 / F, beside the Adidas Boutique, which is by the way, on sale at 50% off – on all items! Hah. The crisis and our instinct to preserve the little wealth that we have really clash. While we need to consume stuff to fuel the economy, we are also on saving mode and this could be bad, if we’re talking about the bigger picture and maintaining the balance. Hmmm. I should stop worrying about so many things!

Over after dinner drinks at UCC, we sort of did a pre-planning for Ann and Kenny’s wedding tentatively scheduled on September 26, 2010. It was such a riot! We were quite a crowd at the coffee shop and it was a good thing the place wasn’t packed. We went home with such huge smiles on our faces!

Love triangles, Kiwi and Strawberry Slush, Parfait and the general sense of comfort you get when talking to friends who have seen you at your worst (hah, that Promenade incident!) are such great blessings.

With the BIBO Kids, Mang Jimmy’s, and HSM3

Yesterday, we had the BIBOLYMPICS! We exposed the BIBO kids to the Pinoy games of our childhood and toured them around UP! Afterwards, we had a mean lunch at Mang Jimmy’s. There were 32 of us so I bet you could imagine how fun that lunch was!

As if that morning wasn’t tiring enough, we went to Triangle North of Manila Mall to watch HSM3. I was a bit annoyed with the excessive lip movements of Zac Efron but as always Vanessa Hudgens saves the day. There are some corny parts and the songs aren't very remarkable but the production design is quite impressive. I don’t suggest that you bring your kids though because this third installment is not as wholesome as the first two. Still wholesome, but not quite fit for the Pinoy tweens (or is it?)

Next Up

On Tuesday, I will have dinner with my San Miguel friends. On Wednesday, I’ll be having dinner and drinks with Felix, Ange and Rina. On Thursday, I am hoping that I could squeeze in to Tito Rogel’s hectic schedule and on Friday, some of my Lingkod siblings will be sending me off. Flight is at 8:55 PM and I will get to see for the first time the controversial NAIA Terminal 3.

Now tell me, am I a lucky guy or what?

All of these will be in my suitcase of happy memories:

Bekasi, Here I Come!

2008-10-26T20:31:00.000+08:00

Whoa!

It’s finally going to happen. Come Halloween I will be flying off to Indonesia for my two-month special assignment.

A lot of people had been throwing me the big WHY?!? each time they learn of my plan not to go home for the holidays, or Christmas at the very least.

While the original plan was for me to be back by the 23rd of December, I had already braced myself to spend both Jesus’ and my birthday - I am one year shy of turning, the operative word is turning, 30 come December 27 - in Bekasi, or Bali if I get lucky (but that will make the whole idea seem too exciting, even fantabulous, to borrow a weird but apt American colloquialism).

Why? Because one of my life goals is to work for the UN and I wanted to know if I could flow with the idea of celebrating two very important occasions all by myself!

Honestly though, I am just being practical here. Since I am scheduled to be back on December 30 and the stress of holiday traffic jam doesn’t (never did) psych me up, I figured it could be an interesting twist, this whole idea of being away from home on Christmas day.

Interesting because for one, this will be a first for me since as a Filipino, it is almost a felony not to spend Christmas with the family. Even with the Filipino Diaspora, this tradition is highly observed. Another thing is that some friends promised to try their best to visit Indonesia on my birthday, which is a major cheat behind the whole I am just being practical act, but I am digressing.

As a Christian, I know that it might get really lonely to be in a predominantly Muslim country on that day but I am also assured of God’s presence wherever I go. I know I will miss the endless parties, the exchanging of gifts, the laughter and the Pinoy Christmas traditions which I heart to the core but I am also positive that being ‘away’ this year will do me a lot of good. I am extremely thankful to have a better appreciation of God’s love because it gives me confidence that every little thing’s gonna to be alright.

Whenever I reflect on and review the many details of my life, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe at how things fall into place, how everything seems to connect in a magical sort of way. Hindsight bias aside, I am convinced that the trite expression - everything happens for a reason - is true.

I know some of you might find it difficult to believe that the Lord designed our lives to be perfect, by His definition of course, especially if you feel that yours so far had been littered with a lot of humps, u-turns and seemingly endless dead ends.

My life, if I were to do benchmark studies, maybe far from perfect because just like you, I struggle with sin, with fear, with doubts about my faith and His goodness. But I have come to believe the power of a very wonderful weapon that is, prayer.

And so I end this post with a very personal public prayer:

Lord God, I praise and worship you for your infinite goodness. I know that this special assignment to Indonesia is your early birthday gift, meant to address my immediate concerns and support my long-term plans. I thank you for sustaining me, for not letting go of my hand, even if it is covered with the filth of the world that I chose to dip my fingers in. I pray for protection, and unabashedly, for a successful stint. I am confident that you have already cleared my path and have already blessed the hearts of the people that I will come into contact with. I cast out all my fears as I pray for protection for the family and friends that I will leave behind.

Lord as I embark on this journey, I carry with me a luggage bursting with fond memories of the past. I pray that you will allow me to create new ones to share with my siblings, my nephews and nieces and the many friends I have, when I come back.

Again, many thanks and let’s do it!

Very truly yours,

John

Breaking Your Glass Menagerie (A Review of Kultura’s Production of the Tennessee Williams Classic)

2008-10-14T12:23:00.000+08:00

Richard Linklater, through a character in the book / movie Before Sunset, shares with us the idea that we all see the world through our own tiny keyhole. Having said that, you might have guessed that yes, I am inclined to agree if somebody were tell me that our realities - or our experiences of reality - vary. However, as a Psychology student ages ago, I was taught that a trusty process of finding out what is “real” is done by gathering multiple personal accounts of a singular event and identifying points of convergence to establish the existence of what they call inter-subjective reliability.

A pretty comforting thought eh? Well, not quite. Because I believe that this “phenomenon” raises the question - what if you can’t stand what is perceived by many to be real?

Before I launch into some geeky psycho-philosophical discussion of reality and inter-subjective reliability, allow me to share with you what I saw, through my own tiny keyhole when I watched Kultura’s production of Tennessee Williams’ The Glass Menagerie, a “memory play” that focuses on man’s natural tendency to escape when confronted with life’s harsh realities.

It is fitting to note that this play was written in the 1940s, just before the war was over. What makes this play relevant to our times is the fact that there exists a raging battle within man, heavily affected by the numerous stimuli around him and bound by his limited experiences and vocabulary.

What’s good about the play is that it does not give excuses for its being, and the audience is warned early on that it might be unrealistic in some respects, since Tom Wingfield, a wannabe poet / movie buff, is both our narrator and main character and the play is made up of memories.

Given this perspective, it is quite forgivable that three of the five characters - counting of course the picture of Tom’s father, his mom, Amanda and his younger sister, Laura Wingfield - were somehow portrayed like caricatures, lending drama, laughter, and lines that evoke moments of self-examination throughout the duration of this play of seven scenes.

We have the fifth major character Jim O ‘Connor, who represents what is tagged in literature as the hand of God / Divine Intervention or that character / situation that pushes our story forward and helps the characters resolve their conflicts.

I was able to catch the final run of the play last September 30 and, with no offense meant to the alternate actors, I believe that Pam Imperial, Rhenz Gabalonzo and Steph Sol as Amanda, Tom and Laura were able to essay credible sketches of their respective characters. All of them, including RJ Torres, who played Jim, were almost whimsical in their portrayal, befitting the form of the play. With this production, the audience is invited to a sumptuous dinner – prepared by the director, Joel Parcon – where one is lent the sweet option to relish every bite and experience the multi-sensory explosion of flavors.

Parcon was able to interpret the script in such a way that one will refuse to be that annoying member of the audience who tries to predict what’s going to happen next. From the first scene that highlights the repugnance of the son towards his mother’s obsession with her ‘perfect’ life as a southern belle, up to that powerfully built up confrontation scene after the gentleman caller turned their worlds upside down, one can’t help but get lost with the characters, while maintaining a firm grasp of what was going on. (My good friend Divine, whom I was able to drag to the Telengtan Hall on such short notice will attest to the fact that I didn’t even realize that the play ran for three hours!)

We are given a tragic ending, and one can’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe, our characters deserve it. However, they are all so lovable, which makes it quite easy to empathize with them. Fine, Tom, Laura and Amanda choose to live in their own dream lands but the utter helplessness of their respective states of being too angry, too afraid, and too obsessed with the past underscore the valuable life lessons that all of us need to learn.

The Glass Menagerie attacks something fragile within us and forces us to break it, as if to tell us that the only way to experience real, tiny pockets of happiness is when we face our realities head on, allow them to crash our windshields, and let the shreds, however painful, cut our skin.

I hope that when Kultura, or any other theatre group re-stages the play, you’ll be first in line to take the challenge - the challenge to shatter your own menagerie of illusions.

The Naga Mission

2008-09-22T18:52:00.000+08:00

To do land travel for eight solid hours, with only one stopover is no joke. If you were to do that at night, while it’s raining, the whole bus ride would feel like a turbulent flight. Excruciating I know, even if the seats are La-Z-Boy (yeah baby!)

Good thing that I had the missionary mindset on my way to Naga last September 5, when I was tapped as one of the servants to the Christian Life Program in one of the Lingkod branches down in the dirrrty south.

Day 1

We arrived in Naga at 5 am, September 6. The branch leader, Bro. Melo Sorita, together with a Lingkod alumnus, Bro. Johndy fetched us at the terminal and brought us to the Ateneo De Naga dorm. My body was aching for rest and it only took me a few minutes to fly off to dreamland. Sleep is good. Sleep is divine…

Since we agreed to have lunch at 11 (session started at 2 pm), I woke up at 10:30 am to take a bath. The shower was playing with me hence I decided to rough it up using a trusty tabo. At that point, Lesson # 1 flashed:

The Power of The Tabo: If you had it in you, you’ll always have it – can be good or bad but either way, it’s all about being at peace with your past and present self. The past doesn’t define the future, that’s true, but you have to know which ones to carry over to the next chapters as you write the novel that is Your Life. You should never forget how to use your tabo!

As the session progressed, I was getting antsy, especially when I was informed that I’d be a Discussion Group Leader. Initially, my mind was saying no frickin’ way but hey, all for His glory!

Panic set in when we were about to start because believe me, my group was a challenging one, a bit on the threatening side really. Just to illustrate, one of my DG members is a Theology professor, and a former seminarian who was there to see if Lingkod is ‘the community’ for him - one that has programs that are aligned to what he thinks the Catholic Church should be doing. One is a college kid who is investigating Protestantism. The third one is somebody who basically told everyone during the first discussion that he might not be able to share stuff, since he finds it to be on the abhorrent side of the activities spectrum and the fourth one is someone who wants to go back on track and once again, walk the Way of Life.

However, I had a crumbled-to-be-humbled experience because just when I was trying to think of the best approach to facilitate the discussion so I could help inspire them to commit to Lingkod, lesson # 2 flashed like an annoying infomercial:

“Not your work my son, but mine…”

I was so humiliated. Who was I to think that my facilitation skills and personality could pull me through? We are all works in progress, eh?

The day progressed, and I basically told my group that we should all prepare to be surprised by the Lord. I told them that the talks and the personal testimonies would not be able to address all their questions and concerns but it would really help if they approach the sessions with openness, and boy was I surprised with God’s generosity!

You need to empty yourself because He is ready to fill you up, until you are overflowing with Love, enabling you to flood the Earth, and make believers out of cynics, and disciples out of ordinary men.

Ending late, we had a nice, after dinner talk over what transpired within the long-ish day. Everyone was just blown away by the experience. It was, to say the least, a display of His magnanimity, in more ways than one. And the soup, yeah that crab and corn soup ensured a good night sleep.

Day 2

We started the day early by attending the 6:30 mass. After which we had some time to take pictures and eat breakfast (which was superb, just like all the other meals prepared by the Naga CLP Team! I honor you bros and sis for the awe-inspiring service!)

We continued with the session with Doms (Lingkod Alabang Branch Leader) taking the lead prior the big pray over! Talk about C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-I-N-G! At this point though, I had no doubts that He was in control and whatever happens, will happen according to His will.

So it came and went, like a gentle breeze, calming all the tired souls and providing sweet music that quieted the whirring noise in everyone’s heads.

And then, wakeboarding! But that’s another story altogether. In the meantime, I would like to thank everyone who was part of the mission team. And props to the Lingkod Naga people. You guys are the best! See you in November!

Psychedelic Alapaap

2008-09-15T18:51:00.000+08:00

It took awhile before I was able to make time to write about one fateful Saturday, that Saturday in August, which I want to forget and be reminded of, in a graceful, alternating fashion.

It was, to say the least, the most eventful day of my life, literally. In the morning, I attended the Bata Ikaw ang Bukas Outreach (BIBO) program in Baseco, Port Area, Manila. It started at 8:00 and ended at around 12:30. It was pure soul drug for everyone who attended and the kids! Well, the kids went home LSS-ing on Old MacDonald!

Afterwards, I dashed all the way to Gateway (I always welcome opportunities to go to Gateway so I can binge on goodies from Taco Bell) for lunch and to wait for my community sibling Lucille, since we committed to cover the Lingkod Greenhills Tree Planting activity in faraway Marikina City at 3 pm.

In the evening I went to The Fort to have some mean Pinoy-style dinner with some of the BIBO people and listen (operative word is listen, since Ticketworld ran out of gate passes) to The Eraserheads. Afterwards, it was a surreal, psychedelic (minus the drugs) post-concert bonding session.

Alongside converting a devotional guide to a Magic 8-Ball, conversing about and understanding topics that whimsically penetrate the thickly-veiled air, learning about the power of Cloud Breakers, getting a cabbie from hell (your car and your driving skills stink, man!), watching a topless, derelict chick scurry up the Guadalupe Station of the MRT as she runs away from an imaginary rapist and experiencing that priceless moment when it suddenly rains the minute you walk into your house’s front door, I was getting a barrage of thoughts that got me crossed and confused and grateful all at the same time.

It was one of those days when you just feel like staring into space, imagining things, and the colors just start dancing. You try to make heads and tails of the images created by the endless movements of colors but everything is just a huge, silly blot – like that sidekick kid in Sky High who melts like a psychedelic waste of paint – useless, but fascinating, in an off-beat sort of way.

The full moon beckons.

Thanks to my trusty pal Gis (Google Image Search) for the funky pic!

2008-09-11T10:53:00.000+08:00

Swirling but not in a very nice way
Not like Sundae on a sugar cone

It’s more like… I dunno

Cement and gravel and sand in an Osterizer?

The blades – my soul.

Twirling, twirling, twirling fast in a dizzying pace
My feet are having a difficult time catching up

and my brain, oh where’s my brain?

S

t e

r e d.

The seconds turn to minutes and the minutes become hours

Where were we?

Oh. Getting caught up in between activities and

seemingly endless loops of seemingly endless loops of seemingly endless loops of seemingly endless loops of seemingly endless loops of seemingly endless loops of

Work and play and the things that make you feel alive.

I should be r u n n i n g on a different time cycle

Photo from Google Image Search

Whoa

2008-09-04T18:48:00.000+08:00

New developments, new challenges, bringing forth new epiphanies and while absorbing is always easier than letting go, factor in the unknowns and you get a great recipe for stress.

However, a wise man just gave me an advice: Stress is self-inflicted. So I am just letting go and letting God.

Let's do it!